


Flora Incognita

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Series: Book Two: Alternate Beginnings [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alien Planet, F/M, I'm not a complete heathen, Murphy & Diyoza are bros you can't change my mind, Mutual Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Sex Pollen, actually more plot has developed, i might be a complete heathen, still smut though, there's a little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-06-30 06:15:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15745938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: When JRoth said that Season 6 would be “weird, different, fun”, the rest of you immediately thought about Murphy, Raven and sex pollen too, right? Or was that just me?Okay, I confess - this really does have a plot, even though it has one of my favorite tropes. It has angst, mutual pining and sassy Diyoza, who I am convinced will like Murphy & Raven more than she intends to. She has forced me to make her role in this fic bigger than originally planned, because that's just who she is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I mean... this HAD to be done. I guess I could either say "You're welcome" or "I'm sorry", and that should cover everyone. 
> 
> I decided to write this as a follow up to another story I wrote, "The Shape of Things to Come". You should read that first, because I do see this story as a continuation of the alternate beginning I started there, and a few things will click better if you read it. It's not long but it sets this storyline up. 
> 
> This fic stems from my hope that there will be a bit more of a sci-fi aspect on the new planet of Season 6 - environments, plants, animals, aliens, advanced science... I'm up for it, just like up I'm for Murven.

Raven Reyes stalked into the storage area of the Gagarin with a huff of annoyance at the disarray before her. There were too many items from the surface being stored haphazardly and it was going to be a recipe for disaster, she just knew it. 

Since their arrival in space above this planet that Monty had led them to, a lot had happened in a short amount of time. Clarke and Bellamy had awakened a select few, including the remainder of her Ring family, to inform them that they’d actually been asleep for one hundred and twenty five years. They were given only a day to adjust to their new reality without Harper and Monty, and then essential personnel had been woken up to start the process of determining what their next steps were going to be. 

Based on Monty’s research, they learned that going down to the planet’s surface would be inadvisable to anyone who didn’t have nightblood, one of the legacies of Becca Pramheda. Raven could hardly believe what she’d read in those cracked Eligius III files, but there was no denying that the radiation from the two suns was going to be a problem. 

There were a lot of arguments, among those that were awake, on who would be receiving the first treatments of Clarke and Madi’s bone marrow, but one thing Clarke and Abby had jointly agreed on was their refusal to consider anyone injured or who had a known genetic condition, at least until they had evidence that the process was going to work without incident. And that decision had left quite a few people, including Raven herself, ruled out. For Raven, Clarke explained that it was due to her potential heart issue, and while she’d understood, it still left her feeling frustrated. Thankfully she’d been able to bitch about it with Murphy, who was also feeling sidelined due to still needing to heal from the two bullet wounds he’d sustained. 

With the addition of Shaw on that injured list and Abby confining him to the med area due to his leg, Raven had done a crash course in piloting the Gagarin with Emori, who was extremely interested in checking out the planet’s surface. In the weeks that followed the bone marrow donations, Bellamy, Emori, Octavia, Echo, Miller and Indra had all volunteered to be the first test subjects, and everyone had been a success, due to Abby and Jackson’s careful extraction of the marrow and doses of the new nightblood serum. 

Along with Clarke, the nightblood volunteers had made their first journey down to the planet’s surface, and as part of the plan, they would be sending various items that they found on the planet back up to the Eligius IV in order for Raven to test their levels of radiation and attempt to figure out anything they could about the new ecosystem and what might be edible. Raven had been looking forward to the research, but glancing around the Gagarin now, she knew it was going to be a large task. It needed to be unloaded quickly and stored in the lab she’d requisitioned so Emori could pilot back down and give their friends an exit strategy if they needed it. 

 

*********************************

 

Raven had been working nonstop for the last couple of days, determinedly reviewing as much of the samples from the ground as she could. She’d been helped by Jordan, who had inherited Monty’s interest in all things botanical, and they’d managed to chart quite a lot of the various radiation levels. Because they were interacting with unknown specimens, they were putting numerous safety protocols in place in order to ensure that radiation wasn’t leaking into the lab or through the ship, and Abby and Jackson had run an emergency prep response with anyone helping with the testing, which included Murphy, and to Raven’s surprise, Charmaine Diyoza. Murphy stuck around out of both a desire to get to know Jordan better and because he and Raven were used to spending time together while she worked, and she knew he might not admit it, but he also wanted to keep an eye on her while the others were away on the planet’s surface. After what had happened the last time the two of them were left alone on the Eligius IV, she supposed she couldn’t blame him for being overprotective. 

Diyoza, though, was still something of an unknown quantity to her. At first her presence had felt stressful, but Raven was at a point now where she actually enjoyed her sarcastic comments, and she seemed to be very interested in the glimpses of the planet’s organisms they were getting. It had been a surprise to Raven and Murphy to learn that Diyoza was pregnant, and they had exchanged a private glance between them after learning that McCreary was the father. Raven hated that scum after what he had done to her, Murphy and then Shaw, and had no idea how Diyoza could have slept with him, but for some reason, Murphy was more understanding. He had turned on his charm and it wasn’t long before Diyoza had caught on to his particular brand of humor, managing to joke along with him, and she couldn’t deny Murphy and Diyoza could manage to make her laugh even when she was at her most serious, and that felt good considering everything that had been going on. 

Between that and the interesting work she was doing, Raven found herself looking forward to each day in the lab spent with the three of them. She should have known it, but having something to focus her mind on, along with the company, was doing a lot to soothe her annoyance at not getting down to the ground right away, and also providing her with some emotional healing for everything she’d been dealing with since departing Earth and waking up to this strange new reality. 

She finished logging the data from the last soil sample she’d been testing, and stopped to place her hands along her back in a stretch. Jordan and Diyoza were bent over one of the science gloveboxes they used for containment throughout the room, examining something that looked like it could be fruit, and Murphy was slouched over in one of the chairs, reading a book he had found onboard. 

“Head’s up, Murphy. Help me carry this over to that containment box, will you?” Raven tilted her head over to one of the last remaining Gagarin sample boxes. It was covered in a radiation blanket and she hadn’t seen what was inside yet, but it was a larger container. Murphy rose from the chair and helped her carry the sample over, all the while Raven watched to make sure he didn’t overdo it with his injured shoulder, and then Raven slid her hands into the gloves that were attached to the containment box to carefully guide the item down. Murphy used the radiation blanket as a shield and quickly closed the lid once it was fully inside. 

When Raven was finally able to take a look at the sample, she was entranced immediately. It was some kind of flower and had been potted in a box that contained some of the strange red soil that seemed to be a characteristic of this new planet. It had a leaf structure that Raven had never seen before, but the most distinctive feature were the incredible iridescent colors that seemed to vibrate and change right before her eyes. It was almost as though the flower was alive, Raven thought, and she couldn’t wait to run some tests and find out the results. 

“Whoa, this might be the most interesting thing we’ve seen yet.” Murphy was staring at the plant in fascination, leaning over her for a better look. 

“Yeah, it’s really amazing. Only thing I can relate it to is maybe the Passifloraceae family that we had on Earth, but the colors and leaf structure are nothing like that, only the flower shape and maybe this vining tendency.” Raven bends down to look more carefully and she notices that there are tiny hairlike structures along what looks like the stem, all undulating in tandem. “Wow… let’s check you out a little more closely, you gorgeous alien species.”

Her hands push deeper into the gloves integrated into the container, and she stands firmly next to Murphy to keep her balance as she reaches a finger out to slowly stroke one of the green and purple leaves. When she does so, the leaf curls and rolls in upon itself as an immediate reaction. Raven grins up at Murphy in surprise, to see if he saw that too, and he’s clearly as interested as she is, watching the clear case intently. She continues her investigation by running her finger along the purple stem, and the countless hairs all respond by fluttering wildly. Her hand raises higher and she sweeps her palm gently along the underside of one of the shimmering petals, and it’s suddenly like everything happens simultaneously. A tendril of the plant shoots up and breaks a large hole through the top of the containment case, trailing down and wrapping around Raven’s wrist that’s still enclosed in the glove and jerking her forward. The stamen and anthers of the bloom twitch wildly and a large cloud of pollen bursts forth, spraying Raven’s face and neck and making her choke and sputter. 

“Shit, Jordan! Get Diyoza out of here! Hit the lock down button! Go!,” Murphy yells as he lurches into action, throwing the radiation blanket over the hole in the containment case then immediately clenching his hands around the vine that’s holding Raven immobile. He tears and claws at the coiled tangle until it loosens enough and Raven breaks free, but she’s struggling for air so he sweeps his fingers over her face to wipe the thick pollen away as much as he can. When his hands come in contact with the sticky dust, he feels a shudder run through his body, but there’s no time to consider it because Raven’s breathing is getting worse. He’s tugging her to the back of the lab towards the decontamination shower like they’ve practiced when Abby’s voice sounds through the intercom system. 

“John! I heard the lock down alarm, get into the showers! The doors will seal once you turn the showers on. Remove your outer layers of clothing and put them in the chute as quick as you can to burn them.”

“Raven’s having trouble breathing!” Murphy’s wrenching open the shower doors and shoving her through, and as soon as he presses the button to start, he yells at her to close her eyes and pushes her face up towards the spray. 

“Get your hands rinsed thoroughly and while her face is under the spray, use your fingers to scrub out her mouth and lips. Don’t make her throw up! That could cause more harm.” Abby’s voice is calm but Murphy’s heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to keep Raven’s face in the water and clean his hands in order to follow the instructions. He takes her chin in one hand and stares into her panicked eyes for a fleeting moment before she suddenly slumps forward, unconscious. His arms quickly encircle her to keep her from falling.

“Fuck, she passed out!” Murphy frantically lays her down under the spray, wrings his hands under the water and then uses them to scrub her face, neck and exposed chest more thoroughly to remove any remaining stickiness. He forces her mouth open and slides his fingers along her tongue and teeth until he can’t feel anything but water, then turns her head to the side so she won’t swallow any of the spray. 

“Her heart rate is steady, John, the monitors in the shower are telling me she’s breathing shallowly but enough. Passing out is likely a response to whatever that substance was. Get your clothes off and get rid of them. What was it and where did you each get hit with it?” Abby speaks again through the intercom. 

Murphy wrestles Raven’s fitted shirt up and over her head carefully, leaving her in a black sports bra, then moves down to remove her shoes and socks. “It was some kind of sticky pollen, from an alien flower. A cloud of it burst up through a hole in the containment unit that the damn plant made. She took a face full of it, probably breathed some in, got it on her neck and the part of her chest that her shirt didn’t cover. I got it all over my hands when I started wiping it off her, maybe parts of my arms as I dragged her into the shower.” He takes off her brace and puts it outside of the water spray, then unbuttons her pants and starts the difficult task of getting them down her wet legs. 

“How are you feeling, any different than normal?” 

He struggles to get Raven’s pants off, and eventually starts to unbutton his own shirt. “I feel… hotter than normal. My hands feel kind of tight. Maybe a little tough to concentrate right now. Other than that, my shoulder aches but that’s the bullet wound talking.”

“The shower will go off by itself when you’ve been in long enough. When it’s done a door will open and you’ll be in a small hallway with multiple patient rooms. Take two next to each other and put your fingers onto separate palm readers so I can get blood samples. The doors will seal once you go in, unless I unlock them. There will be towels and blankets in the patient rooms.” Abby’s instructions cease and after Murphy gets his pants off, he gathers the pile of clothes and tosses them down the chute set into the wall. He puts their boots more fully under the spray in hopes of being able to salvage them, then lifts Raven up to sit behind her and comb through her hair to make sure its rinsed out completely. 

When the water shuts off and a different door swings open, Murphy leans forward to grab Raven’s brace and hooks it over his wrist, then leans down and picks Raven up, carrying her dripping body through the small hallway into one of the tiny patient rooms on his left. He uses his foot to nudge a nearby chair close to the palm reader and gently sets Raven down, making sure she’s stable before he grabs a few towels and drops the brace near the bed. Murphy wraps her snugly and pulls her hand forward to rest on the reader, where it takes a scan and a needle pokes her index finger for a blood sample. When the process is complete, Murphy carries her over to the bed, covers her with another blanket and then walks through the adjoining doorway to the next small chamber, scanning his own palm and and attempting to dry himself off. 

“Abby, should we be worried she’s not awake yet?” Murphy asks as he walks back to the other room and pushes the chair closer to where Raven lays on the bed and sits down, carelessly running his hands through his soaked hair. 

“I’m just getting started on the blood samples. This could take a while, considering we don’t even know what we’re looking for. The readings I’m getting from her show that her heart rate is a little elevated but blood pressure and breathing are fine. Her temperature has been rising since the shower though - do you have her covered up? If you do, take them off.” 

Murphy moves to pull the blanket off of Raven, and figures he should remove the towels as well, so he tosses them into a heap on the floor and sits back in the chair, but now it feels...intrusive...to look at her, laying on the bed in nothing but her damp underwear that’s molded to her body, her still-wet hair spilling over the pillow and her long legs bare. He abruptly gets out of the chair and paces around the small space, looking everywhere but at the alluring curves on display. 

But ignoring his good intentions, his eyes keep returning to Raven. An image of her legs wrapped tightly around his hips flashes through his mind and he groans, walking through the doorway to the connecting patient room that he’s taken as his, deciding to get farther away from temptation. He sits on the edge of the bed, feeling like there’s too much energy running through his veins. His skin is starting to feel tight, and what was before an uncomfortable warmth is now making him literally sweaty. He knows his heart rate is increasing and the sexual images streaming through his mind are almost too fast to really focus on, but the effect they’re having on his body is noticeable. Murphy lays back on the bed and concentrates on breathing calmly, but when he closes his eyes, he swears he catches Raven’s scent wafting in the air around him, and it only serves to heighten his desire. 

Murphy isn’t stupid. He knows these sudden feelings have something to do with the alien substance that his hands were covered in. No, it didn’t create the lust, but it’s definitely affecting his control over it. He first saw Raven about seven years ago… well, he supposed if you wanted to get technical, one hundred and thirty two years ago now - but the point was that he wasn’t exactly immune to her charms, it was just that he’d had plenty of practice at managing his response. Any idiot could see she was gorgeous, he’d thought so the second he’d first seen her, but Raven was so much more than that. Unfortunately for him, the more he’d gotten to know her, the more he’d wanted her. And that was where the self-control came in. It wasn’t so bad on the ground, when they were always running for their lives or things were happening - yeah, she definitely featured in more than a few of his fantasies, but there were a lot of distractions and the very real fact that she spent a portion of that time hating him for what he’d done to her. And then he’d found himself a girlfriend, but that hadn’t meant he’d suddenly become blind. When he’d thought Raven was dying and he left her behind in Becca’s lab all those years ago, it had made him realize some truths that he hadn’t wanted to examine very closely, but there was no denying the utter relief and gratitude he’d felt when he’d seen her again and known that she was okay.

But then they’d gone back to space. For six years he’d lived in close quarters with her, seen her just about every day except for when he was making himself scarce, and those long years had taught him to repress all that attraction and want for her until he’d buried it deep enough to only let the admiration and affection bubble to the surface. Sure, it came out as mostly sarcasm, but they understood each other like that, and it went without saying that they cared for each other. It was never her that he was trying to avoid, after all. Murphy kept all his private thoughts about her completely to himself, and he thought he’d done a damn good job at hiding his attraction around her. He wasn’t going to do anything to risk what they had - she meant too much to him, her friendship was too hard won, and it wasn’t like he didn’t already know she’d never have those kinds of feelings for him, anyway. 

Except… then he’d stayed behind for her and got to spend time alone with her on this very ship, and he witnessed her on Earth all over again, saving everyone like she tended to do because she was a fucking martyr who couldn’t help herself, and he’d seen her be brave in the face of danger and he’d worried about her so damn much he could barely think, and he’d watched as someone else had flirted with her and she’d shown interest back, and he’d been so irrationally jealous he could barely stand himself. 

Once again though, bigger forces than him had intervened, and they not only were back in fucking space again, they’d actually managed to sleep themselves one hundred and twenty five years into the future. And he knew as soon as she’d woken him up that nothing had changed about his feelings for her. Before he could take any time to figure out what he was going to do about it, they found out about Monty and Harper, and the truly insane realization that they had been in cryo for so long and actually travelled to another planet. At first he’d been angry that he wouldn’t get to go to the surface of the new planet with the others because of his still-healing bullet wounds, but when he’d found out Raven wasn’t going to be able to go either, he’d felt like maybe he’d gotten lucky after all. He could admit it - he was a selfish bastard and liked having her mostly to himself. These few weeks of spending his time in her lab while she worked or keeping her company in the captain’s bunker they kept secret had been good and totally worth getting shot for, although he’d never tell anyone he thought so. 

So, sure, maybe some alien plant was going to hit him with some pollen that was going to stimulate his longing for her into a kind of intense hunger - and how strange to consider that this wasn’t the weirdest part of his life so far - but he’d had plenty of practice shutting that craving down, so he clenched his jaw and let the powerful visions take over, but not before first calling out to Abby and shrewdly demanding that she lock the door between his and Raven’s rooms and not reopen it again unless there was an emergency. 

******************************

Raven opened her eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. She was laying on a bed in her sports bra and fitted underwear shorts, and they both felt moist on her skin and her hair was damp too. She was alone, and despite the coolness of her clothing, she was hot and felt almost feverish. As she glanced around her surroundings, she realized she must be in one of the decontamination patient rooms that were off her lab, and everything started to come back to her as she sat up on the side of the bed and noted her brace was in reach.

“I can see by your readings that you’re awake, Raven. How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?” Abby’s composed tone rang out through the speaker, and Raven felt her hands clutch the edge of the mattress in response. She had not been ready to talk to Abby about the pills, the addiction, or how she had activated that fucking shock collar Raven had worn so frequently while they were still on Earth, so Raven had mostly been avoiding her during their time on the Eligius IV together. Murphy had actually been nagging her about it recently, and she had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before she confided in him about what had happened. 

“Yes, I remember most of it. I guess I must have passed out? The last thing I remember was Murphy dragging me to the shower and helping me get that pollen off my face. Where is he, is he okay?” Raven asked anxiously. 

“Murphy’s in the room attached to yours. He’s fine and we’re running tests on both of your blood samples to see what you might’ve gotten dosed with. It’s a little slow going though. Can you tell me anything about how you’re feeling?” 

“My wrist is sore from where the vine wrapped around it, I’m hot everywhere, and I can pretty much tell you that whatever that pollen stuff is made from, one of the symptoms it’s giving me is that I’m having major sex fantasies running through my head and I’m completely turned on, so start looking at pheromones, hormones or endorphins, or maybe even some kind of psychotropic drug in my bloodstream.” Raven sees no need to be anything but straightforward. 

“Oh, uh, okay. That’s very helpful, we’ll do that. I’ll check back in with you soon.” Abby’s trying hard to stay professional, but Raven is certain she sounds a little unnerved by her comments. 

Raven lays back on the bed, feeling restless and fidgety in the quiet. Despite her candor with Abby, she had left out a detail that might be relevant, but then again, maybe it wasn’t. It was certainly true that she was having really...explicit pictures streaming through her imagination, and it was also certainly true that she was incredibly turned on by them. But was it important for Abby to know that every single image featured only one other person besides herself? Did Abby need to know that the insatiable want she felt might not be solely because of the otherworldly plant that had infected her? Raven didn’t care about being embarrassed, but she did care about keeping secrets. 

Sure, most of the secrets she had were the kind of secrets that would keep other people from worrying over the things that had happened to her, and yes, she kept secrets for others’ own good or in order to not hurt someone’s feelings, but by far her biggest secret was the one that revealed she wasn’t as good of a person as she wanted to be. And she’s been keeping it locked up inside her for long enough to know that it never gets easier to excuse. So no, she doesn’t think Abby needs to know that all of her sexual fantasies for years now have been exclusively about John Murphy, and that this damned alien plant pollen hasn’t changed a fucking thing. 

*******************************************

It’s been an hour, maybe going on two, and she’s not going to be able to hold out much longer. Her hands have found her way into her shorts and she’s gotten herself off three times, but all it seems to accomplish is to increase her passion, not quench it. Thinking about what they’d do in this bed, if he was laying tangled against her, about how his hands would feel on her skin, oh, it was all too much to keep ignoring it, and she’d tried, she really had. The first time she’d had a sex dream about Murphy was only a few months into their time on the Ring, and she’d rationalized it away easily enough by reminding herself that they’d had a weird connection ever since he’d shared some of his past with her in the Dropship. That the time they had spent at Becca’s lab had shown her another side to him that had made her want to give him the forgiveness that he’d needed, and that they were actually becoming friends. That it made sense when there were only three males in space along with her, so it was just natural, right? But the longer they were up there together, the more she dreamed of him, and the worse she felt about it, knowing that he was with Emori, who was also becoming her friend, too. So she’d wake up in the middle of the night, or in the morning, with sometimes vivid memories of what she’d dreamed, or other times slightly fuzzier thoughts that left her feeling pleasantly satisfied… but always, she’d feel the guilt, remembering how it had felt when Finn had cheated on her, yet here she was lusting after her friend’s boyfriend. 

Raven didn’t know exactly what kind of person that made her, but she knew it wasn’t a good one. No, she’d never acted on it, absolutely not, not even when Murphy and Emori broke up multiple times on the Ring, because of course no matter what her feelings were, she knew you didn’t mess with your friend’s ex. And other than a few lingering looks when no one was watching, she thought she’d done a good job of hiding away her attraction to Murphy underneath the very real friendship that they had. Burying her emotions had seemed like her only choice, so she’d done it like she does everything else - pretty well. But then he’d gone and stayed behind with her when the Eligius IV had been full of sleeping criminals, and he’d told her that he’d take the burden of killing them all when the time came. And they’d both been caught and tortured, she’d seen him with that knife pressed to his throat, and she would have done anything, said anything to keep him alive. She’d managed to figure out a plan for him to escape, but he’d just shown back up again, not wanting to leave her behind… on Earth her thoughts had gotten worse, not better. It hadn’t been a hard decision on her part to look for a distraction in Shaw. He was good-looking, smart, and seemed to be interested in her. Maybe the best way to get over this ache for Murphy that was never going to go anywhere was to focus on someone else, and for once she finally had a viable option, so she’d flirted back and even kissed him. 

But life on Earth had never been predictable, and now here she was, one hundred and twenty five years later, still considering Murphy her best friend, still yearning for him in ways she shouldn’t, still feeling guilty and wrong over it but unable to stop. Raven wondered if it was always going to be like this, if it would always be a constant thrum in the back of her mind, like truth pumping through her veins, that she wanted him and had to conceal it and could never… No, no she couldn’t let it be like that. It had been so long already and she didn’t know if she could continue to keep it hidden any more. Maybe… maybe what would really resolve this would be to just finally do it and then she could get him out of her system. Maybe it was just the build-up of so many years of not knowing, so once she did know, she could just cross it off the list and move on. And actually, this ridiculous plant situation might even be able to help her, now that she thinks about it, because of course she’s lusting after Murphy since they’ve both been sprayed with this alien pollen full of sex drugs! Nobody would need to know, nobody would suspect, that she’s been lusting after him far longer than that. It was selfish, she knew it, but if it was finally the answer that would make her stop thinking about Murphy as anything other than just her friend, then she couldn’t refuse this chance while she had it. 

Her mind made up regardless of the consequences, she reaches for her brace and straps it on, then crosses to the door to Murphy’s room. If he didn’t want her in return, this was going to fucking suck, and she’d better be prepared for rejection. She took a deep breath and tried to slide the handle, only to find it locked. 

“Abby,” Raven called, trying not to let resentment seep into her tone, “have you made any progress?”

“Raven… well, not much. We’ve been able to discover that there are some unidentified pheromones in both of your systems, but we’re still testing whether there’s anything else or if those pheromones are a partial or full cause of yours and John’s symptoms.”

“Fine. I want you to unlock the door to Murphy’s room.” Raven was gratified to note that despite the need thrumming through her, she managed to sound steady and firm. 

“I... don’t think I should do that, Raven. He asked me to keep the door locked… wait, what? Raven - hold on a moment, please.”

*********************************************

Abby turned away from the console in annoyance, frowning at whoever had interrupted her communication with Raven. She had thought she was alone, and hadn’t heard anyone join her. When she spun around, she was surprised to see Charmaine Diyoza standing behind her. The woman always looked like she was the only one in on a private joke, and Abby had no patience for that today, not when John and Raven were dealing with something unknown that was her responsibility to figure out. Jackson was still working on the slides of their blood in the medical lab, and Abby had wanted to consult the Eligius’ database to do some more research into the pheromones that they’d already found. 

“You should open the door, Abby.” Diyoza asserted. Abby furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, but Diyoza held up a hand before she could speak. “Let me finish. You should open the door because even though he asked you to lock it, if he knew that she wanted it open, he’d change his mind.”

Sighing, Abby gave a helpless shrug. “If I open the door, I don’t know if that’s going to make things better or worse. I don’t know enough about their condition yet to predict the outcome, and opening the door to let them… it’s risky, I need more time.”

Diyoza leaned her back against the counter and rubbed her protruding stomach. “You know, I’ve been spending most of my days since I woke up with Murphy and Raven and Jordan, because I want to know as much about this planet as possible. If this is where I take my baby, then I need to know everything I can, and Raven seems to understand that. Other than Shaw, no one else I know is even awake right now. So just like the rest of you are studying me, I’ve been studying all of you. And although they’re good at hiding it, the sexual tension in that workshop is ridiculous. Putting them together is something they’ll probably thank you for, in the long run.” She stares at Abby, who doesn’t look convinced. 

“Just because they’re attracted to each other doesn’t mean it’s the right answer.” Abby challenged. 

Laughing, Diyoza opens her palms in an unconcerned gesture. “Since when do we ever know what the right answer is anymore? You know, when Kane and I went to McCreary to make a deal, he talked to me, bragged about how things went down. Your friend, Murphy? He caught McCreary and tried to exchange him for Raven, but when I said no, he could have killed him right then but didn’t. And do you know why? Because McCreary promised he’d help him get Raven back if he let him live. We’ve all got blood on our hands, Abby, but it’s also fair to say that none of this would have even happened if Murphy hadn’t made that deal, a deal for just one person. If Murphy had killed McCreary instead, there might have still been a war between my side and Octavia’s, but the Earth would still be standing, and sleeping for one hundred plus years probably wouldn’t have been our only option. But that’s not what happened, is it? Murphy made a deal with the devil - who had already tortured them both - to save Raven. So don’t try to convince yourself that this is all up to you, when it looks to me like they’ve each already made their choices known.”

Abby narrows her eyes. “Why do you even care about this enough to get involved? It was you who ordered McCreary to torture Murphy and Raven to begin with, right?”

Diyoza nods slowly. “It was. Just like it was me who kept feeding you those pills. But things could be different now, if we want it to be. Maybe this new planet has got me thinking about karma and the debts I have to pay… And maybe it’s just that I think you and I are old enough to know that any moments of happiness we can steal in this lifetime shouldn’t be passed up, because we could all be dead tomorrow.” 

The two women regard each other thoughtfully, until Raven’s voice floats over the intercom. 

“Abby?”

*********************************************

 

“Abby?” Raven is rapidly losing patience. Abby’s been silent for too long, and Raven wants that door open, now. “Open the door, Abby.” Her words are steely with accusation when she bites them out. “You owe me.”

There’s a silence that follows her demand, a beat of it that goes on just long enough for Raven to worry that it’s not going to convince Abby how serious she is about getting to Murphy, but then the door slides open with a soft whirr, and her heartbeat ratchets up to thump wildly in her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Murphy hears the door open and freezes across the room where he’s been pacing. His back is to the door but of course it’s Raven, even if he didn’t know it logically, he’d know it because the air suddenly feels full of static electricity. The door opening is both everything he wants and everything he doesn’t, and after hours of countless fantasies where she’s all he can think about, he doesn’t trust himself to turn around and look at her, knowing she’s within physical reach. His body is aroused, taut and on edge, and it feels like he waits a damned eternity, holding his breath and wondering what she’ll do. 

 

“Murphy… I need you.”

 

When it comes, she’s not loud, but if feels like it knocks the air out of his lungs and a shudder runs through him  as he licks his lips then twists to face her. She’s standing there, to the left of the door, her slender body clad in just the skimpy black shorts and sports bra he’s been thinking about, showing off so much of that soft brown skin and fascinating curves he’s itching to touch. He can feel her eyes flicking down his body, where it’s obvious he’s hard underneath the fitted underwear he’s got on, but the moment he knows he’s really lost is when her eyes raise to meet his. Murphy can read it in her wide, imploring gaze - she wants him and he can’t refuse her, especially when every nerve he has is screaming to end this torment and put his hands everywhere he’s been imagining. 

 

He advances towards her, stopping just before their bodies collide, maintaining eye contact with Raven on each step. His voice is husky when he finally speaks. “Say it again.”

 

She pulls her lower lip between her teeth for just a moment, and he hears her say ‘please’, but he can’t wait any longer before he’s on her. His mouth slants over hers and he tangles one hand in her hair, tilting her head just where he wants it so he can taste the lips he’s been so hungry for. His hand at her hip squeezes her closer and her breasts pressing against his chest send sharp bursts of lust coiling through him. Raven’s got her arms wrapped around him, one hand tugging on his hair to deepen their kiss even further, and one hand gliding along his neck and shoulder, and when he strokes his tongue up into her mouth, her hands clamp tighter and she makes a humming noise deep in the back of her throat that makes him harder. He reaches down and catches her behind both thighs, lifting her legs around his waist while never losing the connection with her mouth. She winds her arms around his neck and into his hair, making delicious little noises as she kisses him, and he walks her to the wall, pushing her against it so he can use his body to keep her in place while his hands roam across her flat stomach and along her thighs. He slides one hand back up to her jaw, and leaves open-mouthed kisses over her cheek and down to her neck, sucking more forcefully when she lets out a pleasured moan. Murphy wants to learn her body, catalogue every single sound she makes, but fuck, it’s difficult to think when he’s so turned on. He licks the outline of her ear and bites on her earlobe, and she must like it because her hips jerk up and he can feel the heat emanate from her core against his abdomen, and god she’s so hot, he needs to feel more of it. 

 

Murphy returns his mouth to hers, savoring how her tongue slides along his, trailing his thumb along the edge of her bra, the backs of his fingers brushing against her breasts lazily. Raven hums again and murmurs his name, breaking their kiss and pulling back just a little, and the way her bottom lip is slightly swollen from how he’s been sucking on it is an image he’s adding to all the other sinful daydreams he has of her. She crosses her arms between them and shimmies her bra over her head, throwing it onto the floor before kissing him roughly and skating her nails up his back. He groans and pushes her more aggressively against the wall, grinding up into her and cupping her bare breasts in his palms, and he loves how she responds by not-so-gently biting his lip and squeezing her thighs around him. 

 

He’s imagined how she’d feel against him for years, thought about what it would be like to kiss her, and he realizes now he never could have known the complete inferno that’s burning through him once it’s finally happening. The things he’s wanted to do to her...there’s never going to be enough time. He’s aware enough to remember that these stolen moments might be his only chance to be with her like this, and it’s a painful stab to the gut he doesn’t even want to acknowledge, but if this is all he’s going to get, he’s going to make it last, imprint himself and his touch on her body and hope she won’t forget...

 

Murphy lifts her away from the wall and carries her over to the bed, dropping her down against the pillow and wedging his hips between her thighs to latch onto one of her nipples with his mouth, and when she gasps, his fingers caress her other breast while his tongue licks an unhurried path down to her navel, swirling around provocatively before he pushes himself up to stare down at her. Her dark hair is wild strewn over the sheet, her lips red and her breathing is harsh. Raven’s eyes are cloudy with desire and he revels in being the one to make her feel this way. He leans low and kisses her possessively, but before she can wrap herself around him, he slides down her body, leaving a leisurely trail of wet kisses across her breasts, her torso and stomach and slowly over her thigh, and when he reaches her injured leg, he kisses a line to her knee and gently removes her brace, setting it carefully on the floor. 

 

He teases his fingers under the edge of her shorts, just along the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, and he hears her breathing hitch in response. He smiles and hooks his thumbs into the waistband, tugging them down around her long legs until she’s completely naked before him. He drinks her in, making this another memory he’ll take of her, to keep with him, and he wishes he was better with words so he could tell her just how magnificent she was. Instead, he gives in to his long-standing urge and lays his body between her legs, hooking one arm under her thigh and bringing her damaged leg over his shoulder, using his hands and fingers to spread her open so he can tease his tongue around her folds and bring the interminable wait of wondering what she tasted like to an end. 

  
  


**********************************************

 

From the moment she entered his room, the lust crackling through her body increased to the point of almost being painful. It’s the most intense arousal Raven’s ever felt, and when Murphy comes towards her with his eyes darkened into deep pools, her knees go weak and she feels a rush of slick soak into her underwear. Before she can reach for him, he’s on her, around her, everywhere, and his lips against hers are so much  _ more _ than she imagined. She can’t get close enough, wants to pull him right inside of her and everywhere their skin touches is like an electrified pulse that throbs right to her clit. 

 

When Murphy pushes her against the wall, she suddenly recognizes how much of a fool she was to believe she might be able to get him out of her system. They hadn’t done anything but kiss - shameless, wicked,  _ filthy _ kisses, yes, but that was all it took to make her realize she was never going to get enough of him. Raven felt tears sting behind her eyelids, but she forced them back to focus on how his body felt, molded to hers, and she tangled her hands in his hair when he sucks on her neck and moans at the sensation, determined to enjoy every second of this for as long as she gets to have it. 

 

After she tears her bra off, he carries her to the bed and she gets to feel the solid, heated weight of him, but it’s not long enough before he’s sliding down her body and taking her brace off, followed by her shorts and all she can think is  _ hurry finally hurry _ but he surprises her by insinuating himself between her legs and licking a long stripe up into her, and fuck she just about comes from that alone but then he throws his arm across her hips to keep her still and does some kind of curl with his tongue that has her body spasming out of control and struggling to catch her breath. He doesn’t stop when she comes, just keeps his mouth teasing intimately over her in an unrelenting assault and she’s shaking and whimpering with the sheer intensity and when it gets to be  _ too much _ she tries to wrench out of his hold but he groans against her cunt in a sound of dissent that vibrates right through her and his hands are rough and bruising and  _ perfect _ on her hips and her body seizes and then releases in a hot rush of fluid that makes her shriek with pleasure. 

 

Raven’s still shivering when he crawls back up her body to lean over her, and she feels his thumb wipe away the wetness on her cheek from tears she didn’t even know she was crying. She’s completely wrung out, she’s never come so hard before but she  _ needs _ him still. She opens her eyes to look at him and feels her heart ache at the profound way he watches her. She lifts her arms to tug him down to her and kisses him fiercely, putting everything she feels for him into this one kiss, wanting him to know she wants this,  _ him _ , for herself, not just because some weird plant has gotten into her system. The way he kisses her in return, with hands fisted tight in her hair, make her hope that maybe he can feel it.  

 

She stretches her hand down between them and skims her fingers along the hard length of him, wishing he was bare against her as desire starts to thrum through her once again, then rubbing her palm over the wetness of the fabric at his tip, but before she can reach her fingers inside the waistband, he catches her wrist and pulls her hand away. She tears her mouth from his and her eyes flick up in confusion. 

 

He tilts his head so his lips graze against her ear as he sternly tells her, “If you touch me like that, I’m going to come, and I only want to come inside you.”

 

A hot flush spreads across her chest at his words, and she swallows audibly. If he only knew how many times she’s fantasized about him doing exactly that… instead she licks her lips and manages to speak without her voice quavering. “Are you waiting for a written invitation?”

 

Murphy huffs into her ear, making her shiver, but then he  _ bites _ at the junction of her neck and shoulder and smiles into her skin at her sharp intake of air. He soothes the slight sting with his tongue, listening to the soft whine Raven makes as she gives him more access to her neck, and he has the sudden urge to put his marks all over her, leaving handprints and bites and bruises on her skin that will last longer than this moment. He licks down her chest and sucks hard at the top of her breast as he pushes his hips into her and rubs against her right where she needs the friction. Her hips rock up towards him and he can feel her wetness seep through the fabric separating them, so he grits his teeth and shifts away from her to remove his underwear. 

 

When he covers her body with his again, she twines her leg over his hip to keep him there, and pulls his bottom lip into her mouth to suck on it before gliding her tongue along his. He curves one hand into her hair and along her jaw, and settles the other between her legs, easily slipping two fingers inside her soaking cunt and working them in and out. Raven’s making those little whimpering noises he likes so much, but he wants more, he wants to see her, so he tightens his hand in her hair to tilt her head to him and look into her eyes.  

 

“Look at me, Raven. Don’t close your eyes. I want to see you while I fuck you.” Her eyes burn into his, wide and hazy, and he lines his cock up and grips her hip, thrusting deeply inside her in one smooth motion. The sound that comes out of her throat is so delicious he’s going to remember it forever, and his own moan joins hers. She’s hotter, wetter, tighter than he’d imagined, and she fits him so perfectly. He watches her face as he pulls out and slides back in, and the way her eyes darken further and reflect his own arousal is so consuming, so sexy, he surges into her harder, her hips lifting up to meet him. He’s not going to last long like this, the sensations are too overwhelming, too long denied, too  _ her _ . He grabs her hips more firmly and tilts her higher, getting just that little bit  _ deeper _ as he pumps faster.

 

Raven blinks and sees white-hot stars bursting behind her eyelids, her skin so sensitized that his warm breath ghosting over her collarbone is giving her goosebumps and making her nipples pebble against his chest. She feels so full, his hard cock filling her so deeply and his eyes on hers, watching her intimately. It’s too much, too much feeling, too much emotion, and when he lifts her hips, the pressure inside her just  _ snaps _ and she clamps down on his cock, gasping his name as he circles his thumb on her clit to make her orgasm draw out. He doesn’t stop fucking her as she moans and writhes under him, just thrusts harder with a few heavy strokes before he twitches with a guttural groan, coming deep inside her. He collapses on top of her, his breath ragged in her ear, and she curls her arms around him, enjoying the weight of his body. 

  
  


*********************************************************

 

Murphy wakes up to a darkened room, knowing it must be night time since the lights are on a programmed cycle. He’s lying on his right side, with Raven curled in front of him, his arm tight around her waist. He nestles his head back down along her neck, not interested in getting up, and listens to the sound of her even breathing. He knows he should just relax and enjoy finally having her in his arms, but the selfish and greedy aspects of his personality are insisting he figure out a way to make this last before it all comes crashing down around him. He could be content to never get out of this room, but if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that everything around here can change in an instant, and he doesn’t want this closeness to end, even if it never should have happened like this at all. In typical fashion for him, though, he decides he can’t care about  _ how _ it all came about, instead should just be fucking thrilled that it did and will press his luck for as long as he can. 

 

He nuzzles a kiss underneath her ear and carefully loosens his hold around her middle, gliding his fingers along her arm that rests beside his, then along the curves of her waist and hip. She starts to stir when he repeats the path, and he drops more kisses on the back of her shoulder. She lets out a satisfied hum that makes him grin, and after a moment, she rolls in his arms to face him. Raven raises her chin to look up at him, and in the darkened shadows he can see the questions she wants to ask written in her expressive eyes, but before she speaks, he runs his thumb over her lower lip to silence her. 

 

“Shh… just let me,” he murmurs, and leans in to softly kiss her, slowly like he wasn’t able to do before. They lay there together, under the covers and lazily kissing while her hand rests on his neck and his thumb sketches patterns on her hip. Murphy listens to her heartbeat and the quiet sighs she makes and thinks maybe he’ll just tell her how he feels, just confess that it might have been the plant that made this happen but there’s so much more to it for him… Worst case scenario is that it’s not the same for her, that she only wanted him because of the pollen and she wants to be with Shaw, but everything else aside - they’re friends,  _ good _ friends, and he knows she won’t hold it against him and would try to let him down easy. At least he’d know he took a chance, wouldn’t be left wondering about the could-have-beens… he might not ever get over her but at least he’d  _ know. _

 

Raven’s overwhelmed as Murphy kisses her so carefully - another moment of tears pricking behind her eyes as her emotions engulf her. All the words she wants to say but shouldn’t stick in her throat, and she’s so tempted to just let them out, to tell him how she feels. Even if Murphy didn’t feel the same, she thinks they could be awkward for a few days but then he’d crack a joke to let her know it was put behind them and they would be back to being best friends again. It would be awful if he didn’t want her but at least she wouldn’t lose him completely… But being honest about her feelings ran the risk of Emori finding out too, and what if that caused a rift in their friendship, one that wasn’t so easily overcome like with Murphy? Honestly, even if Murphy did want her the same way, how Emori would feel about it was still such a big argument not to say anything. What if all their friends felt like they had to choose a side? After just losing Monty and Harper… she couldn’t let another rift come between them, she couldn’t be selfish, there was too much to lose, and it wasn’t just her who would suffer. 

 

She steeled herself but allowed a last indulgence of deepening the kiss with Murphy, devouring him like she wanted to, trying to memorize his taste, the feel of his lips against hers. It must have surprised him, because he took a moment to catch up, but when he did, the kiss turned completely carnal in an instant. She let it go on as long as she dared, but despite the lust rushing through her, Raven pulled back, licking her lips unwittingly. 

 

“Murphy, I can’t,” she confessed, but before she could say more, another voice intruded into their sanctum. 

 

“John? Raven? Are you awake? It’s Abby. We have some preliminary results from your tests. I’ll be down in a few moments so we can talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to turn this into more than two chapters, so this one is a little shorter but earns the "E" rating.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed this from a 3 chapter fic to a now unknown-number-of-chapters-fic! I haven't changed my outline and conclusion, but some of the plot points are getting longer than I initially imagined. Pretty sure it's because all these characters like a lot of attention and dialogue - probably because they are starved of it on screen. Heh heh heh heh....

They’d put their underwear back on in awkward silence as they waited for Abby to bring some fresh clothes down to the patient rooms. According to their tests, neither of them were creating any kind of contamination problem, so they followed Abby back to the medical lab where she and Jackson had found a previously unknown-to-them type of pheromone in both of their bloodwork, and while Abby was sure that it had affected their levels of physical arousal, she wasn’t yet certain about how it had connected to the images they’d each seen in their minds. 

 

Raven tried to listen to what Abby was telling them, but all she could think about was the queasy feeling in her stomach everytime she so much as caught a glimpse of Murphy from the corner of her eye. He had schooled his face into a relatively blank canvass that she was not at all used to seeing from him. She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap as they sat near Abby’s desk, and thought about what she might say to him and how she was going to control her own emotions while she said it. She allowed herself to get absorbed in her thoughts but was jolted out of it at a comment from Abby. 

 

“.... so in addition to comparing results from when you first got dosed to now, I need to get updated blood samples from you both in order to verify that your chemical contraception implants are still working. We haven’t looked to see if they’ve been affected by the cryo process or the passage of time at all, and at some point, Monty and Harper’s must have degraded so it’s going to be an ongoing concern until we analyze the data from everyone awake,” Abby explained. 

 

Her eyes widening, Raven looked at Abby in shock, having not once considered that her birth control could be an issue. Granted, she hadn’t had sex in so long before now that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d even thought about the implants they’d gotten on the Ark so many years ago, let alone the actual possibility of a child. Of course, she should have realized - obviously the method had failed for Harper and Monty, but it hadn’t registered at all until Abby was now mentioning it. 

 

“I’m optimistic that we won’t see any issues with degradation this early, but it is something we’re going to have to monitor,” Abby adds, in an obvious attempt to soothe Raven’s panicked look. “I want to take a new blood sample now, then I’d like you both to go rest and come back to the lab in the morning - it’s much too late to stay up now. We need to catalogue as much information from you as we can about what happened, while it’s still fresh in your minds. I’ve got questions as to how someone on the planet collected the specimen without incident, yet the two of you experienced almost an attack from this same plant. We’ll need to warn everyone on the surface to be careful, however it would help if we knew more about what happened. Jackson will take the blood samples now, and you’ll both come see me first thing in the morning, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” Murphy’s tone is brusque as he stands and Raven sees him quickly dart his eyes her way before he nods at Abby and turns to walk towards Jackson, who is standing by a palm reader, prepared to take their blood. 

 

Abby walks closer to Raven, clearly hesitating, but when Raven looks up at her, something she sees must make up her mind, because Abby sighs and gently but briefly squeezes Raven’s shoulder in response. “Try to get some sleep, Raven.”

 

When Raven walks out of the med area after giving her blood sample, she’s expecting that Murphy will be lurking around somewhere, waiting to talk to her. She gets all the way to her shared dorm room without seeing him, though, and as much as she dreads telling him that she doesn’t want anything but friendship from him, she feels the sting of disappointment flood over her when she realizes he’s not looking for her. 

 

She walks into the room, keeping her movements muted, noting that Madi and the other inhabitants are all sound asleep, and suddenly she just can’t fathom waking up around other people and putting on a fake smile. She grabs the small box of toiletries they’d each been given from the supplies on the Gagarin, and leaves the room as silently as she came in. She moves surreptitiously down the empty corridors, hoping to not bump into anyone else who’s awake at this hour. If she wants to be alone with her thoughts, there’s really only one good place to go on this ship, and lucky for her, she knows how to get there. When she opens the door to the storage closet that conceals the hidden panel to the captain’s bunker, she’s relieved that the flashlight Murphy keeps at the top of the shelf hasn’t been disturbed. That means he hasn’t beat her to the room, so she awkwardly and quietly crawls through the ventilation system, releasing the the lever at the dead end that will slide the concealed wall open. When she stands up in the space, she lets out a breath of tension, feeling relieved at the familiar surroundings. It’s not necessary to turn on the lights - she and Murphy have spent enough time here now to know their way around, so she makes her way over to the cot in the corner and sits down to remove her shoes and brace. 

 

As she climbs under the covers, Raven considers that perhaps she should have showered before lying down to sleep, but the part of her that’s foolish and reckless knows why she hadn’t. If she only gets to have this just once, then she wants to keep his scent on her for as long as she can, to relish how her body is worn out and still slippery between her thighs with the mix of both of them. She closes her eyes and recalls his hands stroking along her breasts, and decides that the morning is soon enough to erase the memory of him, to start to pretend that it never happened and lock away her feelings again. For tonight only, she’ll let herself remember. 

 

*****************************************************

It’s no surprise when she wakes up in the morning hardly feeling rested. Raven knows her sleep was fitful, filled with too many images that aren’t for her to keep. She groans and straps on her brace, walking over to the computer array to check the time, glad to note that she’s awake early enough to take her shower before going back to talk with Abby. She wants to fortify herself a bit before she has to see Murphy again, so she scoops her toiletry bag up and when she gets to the shower area that’s been designated for the women, she pulls a towel off the shelf and ducks into one of the stalls. There’s a small bench and a mirror in the front, allowing her to strip off her clothes and store them somewhere dry, and when she turns, she catches a glimpse of her reflection and is engrossed by what she sees. Along her collarbone, at the base of her neck and at the top of her breasts are discolorations where Murphy had sucked or bit her skin, and as she looks down her body, she uses her fingers to trace the faint bruises in the shape of handprints around her hips. Nothing hurts, and unless she wears something low cut, everything will be covered by her clothes except the bite mark at her neck, and she could probably cover that with her hair… she likes them, she decides. It makes her feel like the night before wasn’t just in her imagination, that she didn’t just dream it up like so many of her other fantasies. Murphy’s marks on her skin almost feel like some kind of souvenir of a stolen moment, and she mentally wills them to linger as long as possible. 

 

A perk of the Gagarin is that they can have hot water for their brief showers, and Raven takes full advantage as she slumps under the spray. She scrubs her small bar of soap down her body, but as her hand curves around her flat stomach, she’s reminded of Abby’s words about their contraceptives. She’s never thought about pregnancy or children before, no real reason to - on the Ark she was focused on becoming a Zero-G Mechanic, and although she’d started having sex with Finn before he’d gone into Lockup for her, she’d never worried that her birth control would fail. That was one thing the Ark was incredibly adept at - making sure very few women got pregnant each year. On Earth, she would have thought anyone who considered children down there was completely insane, with all the battles, dangers and worries that day to day living had brought. 

 

Actually, maybe during their six years in space she’d thought about it once or twice, but not in a concrete sort of way. More in a general, what-will-happen-in-the-future sense, in her dreams of getting everyone back down to Earth and wondering what life would be like then. Wondering if she’d have a family, what she might become… But now, the realization that Harper had given birth and the very real possibility that there  _ could _ be a pregnancy gave her considerable pause. Terrible timing, of course, they didn’t even know if they could truly live on the planet’s surface long-term yet. And even if they could, her own heart murmur could create a problem with the nightblood serum… Raven shook her head in an attempt to dislodge her thoughts. It was very unlikely she was pregnant, they’d only had sex the one time, and she wasn’t one to worry about what-ifs when there were plenty of real problems to focus on, even if the idea of being pregnant with Murphy’s baby didn’t unsettle her nearly as much as it should. 

 

**************************************************

 

Raven was the last one to arrive in Abby’s office, taking the time to wrestle her damp hair into something fancier than her typical ponytail, but feeling more awake and alert after her shower. She made an effort to drape the long tail of her braid alongside her neck and down her shoulder in order to hide the bite, not out of embarrassment so much as she liked having a secret. Jackson had greeted her with instructions to take yet another blood sample, and now she and Murphy were ensconced in chairs in front of Abby’s desk, with Jackson alongside typing notes into a medical tablet. She peeked at Murphy as she sat down, but his eyes didn’t meet hers and she wasn’t sure what sort of mood he was in. Sitting in such close proximity to him though, had her gripping her fingers together to keep from reaching for his hand. She gritted her teeth and looked up at Abby, determined to pay better attention this time. 

 

“So, looking at the test results from the blood samples you both submitted, there are definitely chemicals present in varying amounts that even though we don’t recognize them fully, they have enough characteristics in common with our own understanding of pheromones to say that’s what they are. Humans, plants and animals that we knew on Earth - even bacteria - can use pheromones, which are basically chemical messages. There are multiple  _ types _ of pheromones, though, and that’s where this gets interesting. From what Jackson and I can tell, the pheromones in your systems were primer pheromones  _ and _ releaser pheromones. And I can’t rule it out completely, but it’s possible that this plant life also mimicked human sexual pheromones to provoke a response in you both, but that’s going to require a lot more in-depth research than we’ve had time for, and it truly means this is the kind of intelligent plant life that we didn’t encounter back on Earth. Any questions so far?” Abby stops her lecture and stares expectantly at Murphy and Raven. 

 

When they shake their heads negatively, Abby continues. “Since we took samples from you right after you were dosed until this morning, we can see that the levels of chemicals in your blood have been slowly reducing, but they’re not all gone yet. I don’t know if the levels will go back to zero and be completely dispelled from your body or not, so I’d like to keep monitoring that over the next few days. Other than the arousal and the increase in temperature and blood pressure, the worst response either of you had was Raven’s trouble breathing, resulting in her passing out. I think that was probably caused by the actual stickiness and thickness of the pollen that she breathed in, more than a response from the chemical makeup… However, neither of you seem to be experiencing any further worrisome symptoms, so my concern now is with the plant itself and how dangerous it is. After the two of you were in the decontamination showers and your workshop was locked down, we ran some air tests for a few hours and the radiation levels in the room were stable. Jordan volunteered to put on the safety suit and collect the plant so we could put it in one of the more secured cases - it’s very unlikely to break out of this one unless it’s got far more power. So the plant is currently contained and your workshop has been cleaned up, both from the debris from the case and the air scrubbed clean.” Abby paused and considered. “What I’d like is for each of you to describe to Jackson and I what  _ you _ remember about the plant, how you would describe it, so we can determine if that matches what Jordan saw and what I’ve now seen of the plant.”

 

Raven turns to face Murphy, to see if he wants to speak first, but without meeting her eyes, he gestures for her to go ahead. She takes a calming breath and tells them about the iridescent colors of the plant and how they shimmered with life, and that the primary colors of the leaves and stem were purple and green. “The plant was also incredibly responsive to touch - the hairs along the stem moved along with my finger, the leaves curled up, and the flower itself actually seemed to sink deeper into my palm when I first touched it, but right after that, it broke through the case and spit out the pollen.” 

 

“Yeah, there’s not anything else for me to add, that’s how I saw it too. It was pretty fascinating and I didn’t want to look away from it. I can’t say for sure that the plant  _ made _ me do anything, but I wanted to get closer to it and get a better look. It really felt… alive” Murphy professed, and Raven quietly murmurs in understanding.

 

“You’re both  _ sure _ this is what you saw?” Abby demands. When they nod, she shrugs her shoulders. “Well, it may interest you to know that when Jordan, Jackson, Diyoza and myself have all looked at the plant, it’s not like that at all. It’s mostly pink, with red accents, and it doesn’t move in any way, although both myself and Jordan touched it through the case with the attached gloves. The four of us have looked at it individually, in pairs and other combinations, and nothing changes. We just haven’t seen what you’ve described at all… Which just leads to more questions, honestly, although it might explain why someone on the planet could collect the plant without incident, because we also checked the inventory sheet when the Gagarin was loaded, and the listing for this item number also used red and pink in the description, and Miller was the one who initially dug it up.”

 

“So if Murphy and I are the only ones - at least so far, anyway - to see something else, than that suggests the plant either gives off continuous chemicals that only we responded to, indicating something different in our bodies, or there was something different enough in our bodies that triggered the plant into producing the chemicals in the first place? And it could have been either one of us that the plant responded to, or the both of us together?” Raven crinkles her forehead as she attempts to work out the possibilities. 

 

“Yes!” Abby agrees. “I think we can rule out environmental issues  _ and _ physical contact with the plant for now, since the plant had travelled in the Gagarin, sat in the launch bay for a while while everything was unloaded and then sat in the workshop for a while until you got to examining it. The plant was also touched when it was dug up on the planet and again by me and Jordan in the second container. So, it’s not fully scientific to rule them out completely, but I think we should stick with our primary suspicion, which is that you and John, combined or individually, somehow prompted the plant’s response. Would you mind going over to look at it, to see what it looks like to you now?”

 

She can just make out Murphy’s hushed sigh from her seat, but a moment after, he’s standing and telling Abby he’s willing to go view it, so she gets up too and considers everything she now knows about the plant and what might happen when she stands in front of it again. It’s tough to make a determination with such little information to go on, but if the plant didn’t respond to either of them individually, then the theory that there was something in the combined presence of herself and Murphy that set off the plant together was the only explanation that would make sense. 

 

They’ve put the flower in a larger, heavier and much stronger glovebox than what it was in before, but they’ve moved it to a smaller room on the ship that’s more easily controlled. To ensure that they test as properly as they can, Raven stays back rather far away while Murphy goes to the room alone, not wanting to risk having anyone else around to taint the experiment. When he returns, she can’t read anything from the look on his face or his behavior, and she wonders how he suddenly got so good at shutting her out. She turns and makes her way down the hallways on her own, and when she opens the door, she’s surprised to see that the plant is exactly how Abby described - red and pink, and not nearly as interesting. If she wasn’t seeing this with her own eyes, she’s not sure she’d believe how different of an experience this was. The plant was the same shape, same general height, same flower structure, but it no longer seemed alive in the way that she and Murphy had been fascinated by. Raven walks around all four sides of the container, but nothing changes. She reaches her hands into the gloves and touches the plant, but that doesn’t activate anything either. 

 

Shutting the door behind her, she returns to where Murphy, Abby and Jackson have gathered, and finds out that for her and Murphy both, the appearance of the alien plant has changed. Abby and Jackson exchange a look, and ask them if they’d go back into the room, taking along one of them to see if that changed anything. 

 

“So, what, you want us to go in the room with you, Abby, and then Jackson, to see if either of you going in there with us changes the plant? Yeah, we’re not doing that. Not until you can guarantee that if the plant  _ does _ activate again, you’ve got some kind of antidote that will prevent the mental pictures and get rid of any possibility that sex is the cure any time we walk in there with someone else.” Murphy raised his eyebrows skeptically at Abby, who at least has the grace to look a little guilty for suggesting it. 

 

“I’m sorry, John, I know it’s not ideal, and that’s not obviously the goal. I’ll warn everyone on the ground about this particular plant, but we have no way of knowing if there are other species like it or even what exactly triggers it. Is it the combination of yours and Raven’s blood chemistry? Is it your own pheromones or genetics? Or is the plant sentient enough to pick up on emotional cues and recognizes that the two of you are.. close?” Abby stumbles a bit, looking for the right word, but bravely continues. “Or is it just something as relatively simple as wanting to pair off a male and female who are biologically capable of reproducing? Maybe when Jackson, Diyoza, Jordan and I viewed it in various groupings, our ages were off and we were viewed as somehow incompatible… I don’t know, but what we don’t know in this situation  _ can _ hurt us, and I’m sorry I’m coming off as wanting to use you both as test subjects, but can you really blame me? If you don’t want to go back in there with one of us, are the two of you willing to go back in to see if the plant somehow reactivates?” 

 

Raven’s stomach flips at this suggestion and she shifts on her feet restlessly, not wanting to hear Abby’s words but knowing that she’s right about them all being safer if they could understand how exactly the plant works. She risks a glance at Murphy’s face and can see that he’s clenching his jaw, which means he probably knows Abby is right too, but just doesn’t want to admit it. She’s not ready to hear his answer about whether he’d go back in the room to look at the plant with  _ her _ , and she’s definitely not prepared to give her own answer to Abby, when her body is screaming ‘yes’ and her mind is countering with ‘better not’. She meets Abby’s expectant look with a plea of her own. “Can you give me a few days to think about some possible solutions, Abby? Let’s warn everyone on the ground to collect plants on their own, without a partner for now, just in case. It might make things more slow going, but we’ve got a backlog in the lab already anyway.”

 

Abby and Jackson exchange a look that manages to contain something of a conversation, and Abby reluctantly nods. “Okay, but I want you seriously thinking about our options, Raven. We’ve got to come up with something quickly, and there’s no way Jackson and I can create any kind of antidote when we’re not completely sure exactly what we’re trying to block inside the body. That research would take a lot longer than we have, considering we’re looking for food sources on the ground.” Abby’s facial expression softens as she looks at them both. “For now, I’d like the two of you to come in every morning and before bed for blood samples. I want to keep monitoring the pheromone levels and see if there’s any lasting issues. We’ll give it at least five days of testing and then we can revisit, but Raven, I’ll still need to see you for seven to ten days to check for possible hCG levels, okay?”

 

Blushing, Raven manages a terse affirmation and Jackson and Abby walk back to medical, leaving the two of them in an uneasy stillness that Raven has never associated Murphy with before. They’ve always shared either a pretty comfortable silence or they’ve had plenty to say or even yell to each other, and she doesn’t like this discontent between them at all. She turns towards him just as he opens his mouth to speak. 

 

“When are we going to talk about this?” Murphy asks, his voice thick with tension as he gestures between them. 

 

Raven swallows hard, because now he’s finally meeting her eyes and there’s a multitude of complex emotions swimming in them that rival her own feelings, and they’re alone in the passageway. He looks tired, she concludes, and she has the momentary thought that she wishes they could hide out in the hidden bunker for a while so they could talk, even though she still doesn’t know exactly what she’s going to say to him. She licks her lips nervously and is suddenly fully aware of how sharply Murphy is following that movement by the stimulating little rush of desire it provokes in her. “Will you… can we shelve it, temporarily, while I concentrate on figuring something out for this plant problem we have now?” Murphy tilts his head, assessing her, and it does nothing but increase the hum of need cascading through her, but she ruthlessly tamps it down. 

 

“I’ll wait a few days, with the caveat that you discuss any of your potential solutions with me,  _ before _ you tell Abby about them.” Murphy pauses and his gaze flickers briefly to her stomach before returning to her own. “And I want to know right away if she tells you that you’re pregnant.”

 

This time she can feel the burning heat color her cheeks much brighter, but her voice is genuine and her gaze is firm when she responds sincerely. “Of course. I would never keep something like that from you.”

 

He acknowledges her honesty with a brusque nod, his eyes boring into hers for a long moment, and then he’s striding slowly away from her and down the hall, leaving her wanting to follow. Instead she turns to make her way back to the lab, hoping Jordan or Diyoza will be there to keep her company and prevent her from thinking about everything that involves John Murphy. 


	4. Chapter 4

Murphy threads his hands through his hair in frustration after he knows he’s gone from Raven’s sight. He’s not sure where he’s headed but eventually he finds himself close to the storage closet that conceals the panel for the captain’s bunker he found so long ago, and he figures it’s his best option with the mood he’s in. He crawls through the ventilation shaft and when he turns on the small lamp on the bookshelf, he sees that the sheets and blankets on the cot are unmade, which isn’t how he left it the last time he was in the room. Raven must have slept here after they left Abby’s office the night before, he supposes. Although she’s exacting in her workshop and almost a menace with how tidy she expects everything to be there, he knows from experience during their years on the Ring that her private quarters are often much messier. He recalls how he used to take her turns on dishwashing duty early on, feeling like she had so much responsibility keeping the Ring from falling apart that it was the least he could do to help, and how that had evolved into the six of them taking all of Raven’s chore rotations away so she could focus on the never-ending projects that kept everyone alive. Maybe they’d spoiled her a little by doing it, but she had so much that fell only on her shoulders and they’d all known. At least that mostly kept her out of trouble, he scoffs, considering that since they’d departed the Ring there had been criminal ships, shock collars, constant danger, war, what basically amounted to time travel and now alien plants that facilitated them having sex. 

 

Shaking his head, he grabs a book from the shelf and walks over to the bed, pulling his shoes off and intending to try and distract himself from the past seventeen-ish hours. He hadn’t slept well the night before, so a nap wouldn’t be unwelcome as an option too. As soon as he rests his head against the pillow though, he knows neither are going to work. The bed smells like her and he should probably get away from it, but then he’s never been one for what he  _ should _ do, so he gives in before putting up much fight and just burrows his face a little deeper into the blanket, letting her scent surround him. 

 

Leaving Abby’s office last night, he’d been reeling - having hot, long-dreamed-of sex with Raven, waking up with her and wanting to tell her how he felt before they’d been interrupted by Abby… everything had happened so fast and he was trying to figure out his next steps and how Raven might be feeling about it all, only to be brought right back to reality by hearing about the possibility that the contraceptive devices they all relied on might have been corrupted in some way. Oh, that was an unexpected bit of feedback right there. He’d wanted to turn to Raven and see how she was dealing with Abby’s announcement, but his own thoughts had been very conflicted and he’d managed to just keep himself calm long enough to promise to come back in the morning and bolt out of there. As much as he wanted to talk to Raven and find out what  _ she _ was thinking about all this, Murphy knew he’d better get a deeper understanding of his own feelings before he started demanding to know hers. 

 

He’d gone almost on autopilot, walking the path from the med area to his room, and he’d laid down on his bed in the dark, listening to the soft snores coming from Jordan a few feet away. Abby’s comments about their contraception potentially failing wasn’t exactly shocking news to him, but he had felt irritated with himself for not thinking about it sooner. Back when they’d all first been sent down to Earth as lab rats, he hadn’t been that concerned about the implants - it never really occurred to him that they might fail at some future point, and he’d certainly taken advantage of not having to worry. But, after he and the others had gone to space and they’d known they’d be on the Ring for years with no escape, it had been a concern of his from the beginning. He had absolutely no interest in raising a child in space, and he’d told Emori so. She’d said the Grounders had all had their own versions of semi-permanent birth control, but they’d ultimately both agreed that it was better to be safe than sorry, so while not entirely foolproof, he’d always pulled out with the withdrawal method just to help their odds. He’d hated growing up on The Ark, with its stifling environment and hierarchies, and the last thing he wanted to do was to subject his own child to a lifestyle that wouldn’t allow for much freedom. 

 

The brief time he’d been back on Earth after Diyoza’s ship had brought him and Raven off the Eligius IV to be prisoners themselves, there had only been one moment where sex was a possibility, and he and Emori had been interrupted by realizing McCreary was still alive after their makeshift bomb. They’d understood they were caught up in the moment though, and hadn’t made a point of reconnecting physically after that, so being with Raven had been the first time he’d had sex since about seven or eight months before they’d left the Ring, he figured. And he hadn’t thought even once about birth control or pulling out when she was naked underneath him. He hadn’t been  _ thinking _ at all really, and whether it was the plant’s pheromones, or his own desire or the excitement of being with her after fantasizing about her for so many years, he didn’t know, and he guessed it didn’t really matter. He knew even if he  _ had _ been thinking about potential contraception failure, it wouldn’t have stopped him from coming inside her, and that’s why he was feeling both disgust and anger at his actions. 

 

Murphy shifted his weight on the cot in the captain’s bunker, annoyed with himself that his train of thought was getting him aroused. Was it some kind of male dominant trait, to be turned on at the idea of making Raven pregnant? He realized it the night before while unable to sleep in his bed, and he’d felt it again telling Raven a short time ago that he expected to be informed right away if she was pregnant - he felt a possessive gratification over the idea and couldn’t regret the possibility of it. He’d been so adamant before, all those years in space being so careful, and now he was not only  _ not bothered _ , a part of him was actually hoping she  _ was _ pregnant. And if that wasn’t the most fucked up male ego ridiculousness, he didn’t know what else to call it. It kind of felt like the same urge to mark her with love bites and bruises that he’d felt when they were in that bed together - the impulse to make it obvious that she was  _ his _ . And those primal, territorial feelings were completely at odds with the other emotions knocking around in his brain, which were that he’d never wish for things to happen like this, with their relationship on unknown footing and their reality of not knowing if they’d be stuck in space again or if they could go down to this new planet, and he didn’t even know if Raven wanted kids someday, let alone whether she’d accept the idea of having a kid with  _ him _ . 

 

So trying to talk to Raven about how  _ she _ felt about a possible pregnancy when he was so conflicted internally was probably a disaster waiting to happen. He could so easily see himself putting his foot in his mouth with her over this, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He had a feeling that telling her the caveman part of his brain  _ wanted _ her to be pregnant wasn’t exactly going to be a mark in his favor, so maybe he should just wait and see if she brought the subject up herself. Waiting to talk about a pregnancy was one thing he could be patient about, but he already knew he wasn’t going to let her avoid talking about where they stood with their relationship for too long. It was never a good plan to let her dwell on things alone or in silence - she wouldn’t admit it but she had a tendency to brood. Mind made up, he swung his legs over the side of the cot and mentally willed his erection away, as he put on his shoes and pulled up the covers, deciding that the best course of action was probably a bite to eat followed by getting back into the lab to help study the backlog of materials that sat waiting...with the bonus that it would allow him to keep an eye on Raven and whatever sacrificial plan she had currently brewing in her brain. 

 

**************************************************

Murphy grabbed a tasteless protein bar from the counter and carried it along with his small serving of reconstituted stew and water. They were on rations with the food that the Eligius still had in storage, but he’d eaten better in the last few weeks than the entire six years on the Ring, so he wouldn’t be complaining. He saw Diyoza finishing her own meal, sitting at a table alone, and uncharacteristically pulled out the chair next to her. She looked up at him curiously before giving him a sly glance, sitting back confidently in her seat. 

 

“And I thought you’d be in a better mood after how you spent your night.”

 

He narrows his eyes at her and subtly leans forward, his tone sharp but low. “And what would you know about that?”

 

Diyoza raises her hands, palms up, in an attempt to appease him. “I was the one who encouraged Abby to open your door, that’s all.” She gave him an expectant smile, clearly wondering how he’d respond to that information. 

 

His tense posture slightly relaxing at her words, he raises his eyebrows, “You looking for a thank you note?”

 

She laughs with obvious delight, and then looks at him shrewdly. “Seeing as how I’m not so easily fooled as the rest of the people around here, how about you show your appreciation by passing me those books you seem to be getting your hands on. Using the same dust jacket over and over might work on the others, but I can tell you’re not still reading the same one, and I want in on that.”

 

Murphy grins smugly at her. “I might consider helping you out… provided you keep your mouth shut about it and give them back when you’re done,  _ and _ you tell me why the fuck who I sleep with is any of your damn business.”

 

Her eyes appraising, they flick quickly across his face before she winks at him and flirtatiously continues. “You know what they say about pregnancy hormones - they make you horny. I just figured I could convince Abby to turn on the cameras in those patient rooms and get off on the two of you working out all those repressed sexual urges, but I should have known she’d be too honorable for that. Too bad, though, I bet it was hot.”

 

Outwardly there’s no shift in his position, but Murphy’s eyes take on a forbidding glint as he stares at her in challenge. “Unquestionably hot, but why don’t you try again with the truth.”

 

Diyoza shrugs, unperturbed. “Okay, maybe it’s not the full truth, but pregnancy does make you horny, and I’m not above a little voyeurism.” She smiles coyly, and absentmindedly lowers a hand to stroke her stomach, before her expression finally turns serious. “It’s like I told Abby, the only person I know who’s awake is Shaw, and not only is he still out of commission due to that leg, but we haven’t always been each other’s biggest fans anyway. Who knows what we’re going to encounter on this new planet? If it was just me, things would be a lot different, but I have someone else to look out for now.” Diyoza allows a genuine smile to curl across her lips. “Here’s the truth: Raven’s a genius and I actually like her, but there’s no denying that things will go better for me and my baby and our odds of survival if both Raven and Abby are on my side. I’m an outsider in this whole situation we’ve got here, and the two of them speaking up for me will go a long way, especially considering that I’m enemy number one in a few people’s books.”

 

Murphy considers her words, hearing the honesty underlying them, and attempts to reassure her. “I can’t speak for everyone, but the vast majority of people who were in the bunker or up on the Ring would not hold an innocent child responsible for your actions. I don’t think you have to worry about people not accepting your baby or doing it any harm - no one’s going to allow that to happen, even if our group as a whole hasn’t always been on the right side of morality, we haven’t taken things that far.”

 

She tilts her head, and her tone is acerbic. “It’s not enough that people accept my baby or won’t cause her harm, I want people to  _ protect _ her, to look out for her, to  _ love _ her. You and I both know that when the shit hits the fan, our decisions boil down to protecting who we love, and most of us will go to just about any length to do that.” She intentionally gentles her voice. “I’ve watched you and Raven, the way you’ve been with Madi since Clarke and Bellamy are on planet. You each go out of your way to check on her, to make sure she’s comfortable. I’ve seen you both tease her and reassure her and tell her stories about Clarke. And it’s the same for Jordan, despite him being about your age. Don’t think I don’t see how the two of you treat him every day in this workshop - and though even I can admit Jordan is hard to dislike, you barely know either one of them, yet you and Raven both would viciously protect them if you needed to, and that’s what I’m talking about - family.”

 

He finishes his stew and pushes the bowl away, and he doesn’t deny her conclusions. “That may be, and I get you wanting Raven and Abby on your side - obviously that’s the smart move - but I still don’t see what that has to do with you pushing Raven and I together.”

 

“Really,” Diyoza queries. “And here I was, starting to think that you were smarter than you let on.” Murphy rolls his eyes as she continues. “I guess I can see it better since I’m not in the thick of it, like you are, but clearly the two of you care about each other, and I know you were willing to make a deal with McCreary to get back into my camp to rescue her, putting yourself and some of your other friends at risk in the process.”

 

“Maybe you don’t know this,” Murphy points out with a smirk, “but that’s what friends do for each other.”

 

Diyoza snorts and her tone is condescending, “You just keep telling yourself that, Murphy. What I  _ do _ know is that one of you is a genius with a knack for solving problems and keeping people alive, and the other is a hard-to-kill survivor with a heroic streak. Plus you’re both loyal as fuck, even when it’s to your own detriment, and once I get one of you to care about my daughter, I’ve basically got both of you since that’s how you two work. What better combination could I ask for when it comes to extra protectors for my kid?”

 

She gets up and gathers her dishes, sensing that Murphy is watching her thoughtfully. She feels a twinge of compassion for him, despite herself, and she blames it on the damn pregnancy hormones when she finds herself looking over her shoulder while she walks away, giving him one last thing to consider. “Or maybe I’m just a romantic at heart who can’t help playing Cupid when two idiots clearly have their heads buried in the sand.”

 

**************************************************************

 

After returning his own dishes to the ship’s kitchen, Murphy takes a detour to his room before heading to Raven’s workshop. He knows Diyoza is a manipulator and he should be skeptical of her motives, but he’s intrigued by what she had to say and can admit to himself that she certainly  _ seemed _ to be acting candidly during their conversation. It’s a lot to take in, but he knows one thing for sure - he does owe her for convincing Abby to open his door, which is why he’s grabbing a book from under his mattress as a token of appreciation. He might wish things had started less dramatically with Raven, but overall he can’t be sorry that it happened, and on her own, he knows Abby might have kept that door shut. Whatever her reasoning for it, Diyoza’s actions worked out in his favor, and he’d have given her a lot more than a few books for it. 

 

When he strides into the workshop, Jordan and Diyoza are sharing a desk but each entering their own data into the ship’s computer system, and he casually drops the book by her elbow as he walks by. He also brought along the novel he’s in the middle of with him, and he takes up his typical position, sprawling in the chair near Raven’s desk, feeling a knot of tension he didn’t know he had loosen within him as he glances surreptitiously at her. She looks more relaxed than she did this morning, when the two of them went back to look at the plant and found it so different than before. He returns to the page he left off on, but is content to watch her from the corner of his eye as he pretends to read. She’s typing away furiously into her console, probably logging in notes from the last alien sample she examined. He’s always liked watching her work, even back when they weren’t friends, but on the Ring he’d really made watching her a hobby. He’s never known anyone else as disciplined as she is, and he’s seen firsthand how she can get so focused and caught up in what she’s doing that she barely notices as hours pass by. The closest thing he has to that is probably getting lost in a book, but even then he doesn’t forget to eat, like Raven does. 

 

He’s remembering how good Harper used to be at gently convincing Raven to take a break during their last stint in space, while he’s always taken the more nagging and obnoxious route to force her to put aside the stress of work to have some fun, when he sees Raven lean down to open a drawer under the counter she sits at. In doing so, the braid along her shoulder falls forward, and he sees the darkened bruise at the base of her neck. His mind suddenly recalls exactly how it got there, when he’d deliberately bitten her and had the instinctive compulsion to leave marks all over her naked body. He can’t deny he’s gratified to notice that brand on her skin, and now that he has, all he can think about is how he’d like to rip her clothes off and find more. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Murphy drags his gaze away from her neck and back down at the book he’s holding. Raven must have heard his quick intake of air, because he can feel her scrutiny drifting over him, her attention taken away from her notes and now on him. He reminds himself they’re not alone in the room and he’s supposed to be giving her some time to work on the problems they’re facing with the alien plant before they even start to talk about what’s going to happen between  _ them _ , but he can’t resist the temptation to return her stare. When his eyes meet hers, he can tell that she might not know exactly what he’s thinking, but she must perceive the hunger he’s feeling because her eyes widen and a blush spreads across her cheeks. Unblinking, they regard each other for a few heartbeats before she hastily spins around, leaving him hard and with the knowledge that the next few days are going to be a huge fucking test of his patience. 

 

****************************************************

 

Later that night, Murphy walks to the medical lab a little early for his twice-daily blood draw. After spending the remainder of the afternoon and early evening in the workshop with Raven, Jordan and Diyoza, he’d taken a cold shower after dinner and was trying to prevent running into her before bed so as not to get aroused again. He couldn’t - and didn’t really want to - avoid her completely over the next few days, but he was realizing that every interaction they had was turning him on and it was impossible to control his thoughts from going from zero to lust after about thirty seconds flat. Continually leaving the room to go masturbate or take another shower just wasn’t going to cut it, so avoidance had to come into play if he was going to stay sane. 

 

He spots Abby at her desk and lets her know he’s here for the blood test, and she tells him to go ahead and put his palm on the scanner. He’s used to the drill by now but finds himself hesitating before he leaves. No one else is around, so now might be as good as any to say what he wants to. He strides over to Abby’s desk and waits until she looks up at him. 

 

“Abby, I know something happened between you and Raven in Shallow Valley before I got there.” Murphy holds up his hand as Abby gives him a stricken look and opens her mouth to interrupt him. “No, I don’t want you to explain anything. If she wants me to know about it, she’ll tell me. And I’m not as forgiving as she is, so I’m not even sure I want to know. But you need to  _ fix it _ with her, whatever it was, because all her close female friends are either down on the planet or dead, and she might need to talk to someone about this mess.” He crosses his arms and looks down at her imposingly. “Don’t wait on this, either. As usual, she’s got a lot to deal with and she shouldn’t have to handle it alone or feel uncomfortable around you when you’re so involved in it too.” 

 

With a distressed nod, Abby blinks back tears and straightens in her chair. “You’re right, John, and I’m sorry I’ve let this go on long enough for you to have to say something. You should know, though, that the whole situation is my fault and she has every reason  _ not _ to forgive me for what I did. Whether she knows it or not, I certainly don’t forgive myself.”

 

“Yeah, well, the only thing bigger than her brain is her heart, and if she can stop blaming me, she’ll give you that, too.” He offers Abby a rueful smile and silently leaves her alone, making his way back to his room through the deserted corridors. 

  
  


******************************************************

  
  


It’s been about fifty-four hours since she’s had sex with Murphy, not that Raven’s actually counting, and she’s pretty sure she’s ready to punch the next person who so much as looks at her. It’s after midnight, based on the clock they’re using on the ship, and she’s lying awake in her bed, unable to sleep since her mind is racing. Murphy’s been avoiding her, and even though she knows he’s trying to give her the space she asked for, it’s left her feeling unsettled. He still comes into the workshop with her and Jordan and Diyoza, but things are more stilted between them since the afternoon everything started. It’s not horrible, they all still talk and joke, but she’s more on edge in his presence and every once in awhile their eyes will meet and it’s like every single one of her good intentions disappear in a blink and she thinks about what he’ll do if she got up from her desk, climbed in his lap and kissed him the way she wants to. And after that, she’s useless for a good half hour, staring at her monitor and trying to force her focus back on cataloging the remaining samples they have from the Gagarin, but not always having much luck since her imagination clearly wants to lead with her libido and not her logic. 

 

She’s taken to walking around the Eligius in the morning after she gives her blood to Abby or Jackson, and then again after dinner, trying to work out how best to solve the alien plant problem. There’s not enough people awake on the ship to have a lot of options, and Raven has carefully mulled their choices enough to feel like she can present them to Murphy - not that he’s going to be happy about them. She’s not thrilled either, and she spent more time thinking about it than she really needed to, just on the hope that something new would occur to her even though she’d known she’d already thought of every alternative and what the different consequences would be. 

 

Last night, she’d gotten a slight reprieve from her deliberations when Abby had asked if they could talk, and Raven had felt thawed enough towards her to agree. Abby had explained that although Octavia had brought it to fruition as the leader, she had been the one to recommend the cold and calculating decision to force the Wonkru bunker residents to become cannibals for their own survival. And that despite knowing that her advice was logically sound, it had broken her when it had been carried out, and she’d turned to pills to numb the emotions and allow her to function as the needed doctor she was. But of course it had gotten out of control, and Kane had lied and taken her place in the Pit when she stole more pills to feed her habit. Raven could hardly believe it, that Abby had fallen so low, but she knew that she herself had taken things too far more than once, and she still had regrets over her own behavior. Abby being addicted had been a personal wound to Raven due to her complex feelings about her own mother, but even though not a lot of time had passed in their own minds due to the cryosleep, the fact remained that time  _ had _ passed by. And they were all suddenly without Harper and Monty, friends she had loved. There was uncertainty about the new planet and their ability to live on it safely, and Raven realized that she didn’t want to lose another person she cared for, not when life could be over so quickly. So she decided to just be grateful they still had a chance to move forward, and the two had cried together, probably for too long, but Raven had felt a lot lighter afterwards and she knew Abby had too, and that had led to an easy sleep when she’d finally dropped into her bed. 

 

But tonight was a different story. Tonight she was worrying about what Murphy was going to choose when she gave him the suggestions about the plant. She was worrying that she was doing a terrible job at hiding her attraction for him now that she’d let it loose, let alone to the point where she could fool anyone else in the room. Freaking  _ Diyoza _ , of all people, kept giving her gleeful I-know-what-you’re-thinking looks in the workshop, and Raven felt like she might actually be corrupting poor Jordan, if he was actually putting two and two together. She smashed her pillow in frustration. The distraction of it all wasn’t good for her, and she wasn’t putting her best work together when she was so frazzled. She couldn’t keep dragging this out, no matter what the end result was going to be...it would be better to just get it over with. Feeling determined, she reached for her brace and strapped it on, quietly moving through the room and going out into the corridor. 

 

When she reaches her destination, Raven presses her ear to the entrance before carefully opening it a small crack. Murphy’s currently rooming with Jackson and Jordan while the others are on planet, and as settled as she is on wanting to talk to Murphy, she doesn’t want an audience for it. When her eyes get accustomed to the dark, she searches for Murphy’s bed and spots him closest to the door. He’s sleeping on his back and he’s not wearing a shirt, and for a moment she reconsiders whether this was a good idea on her part. But she’s made it this far, she decides, so she wraps her palm firmly over Murphy’s mouth, anticipating that he’ll open his eyes and see her. 

 

Instead, as soon as she touches him, Murphy’s hands shoot out in a blur, one tight around her neck and the other along her side, and with a quick shift of his weight, he’s rolled her over him and onto the bed, his knees trapping her hips and the hand that had been at her waist pinning her wrists above her head. All she can do is let out a surprised squeak at the swiftness of his response, and when she does, the hand squeezing her throat loosens. 

 

“Jesus, Raven, I could have broken your neck!” He hisses near her ear. “What the fuck are you thinking, sneaking up on people like that?”

 

“Well, I for sure wasn’t thinking you were going to attempt to kill me just because I tried to wake you up quietly,” she whispers back indignantly. 

 

“Maybe  _ you’ve _ forgotten this ship still has more than its fair share of murderers on it, but  _ I _ haven’t. I didn’t survive all this other crap just to be taken out in my sleep - that would be a fucking embarrassment.” Murphy’s tone is still hushed but he’s leaned back from her ear and she watches as his eyes flit over her. His hand has slid down from her throat and his thumb is idly stroking the faint bruise that still remains from the bite he put on her skin. 

 

She can feel her heartbeat speed up at his touch and she mentally admonishes herself to calm down and get up off the bed, but her body is a wanton traitor that’s practically melted underneath him. How she convinced herself she had control over her response to him suddenly feels like the most absurd thought she’s ever had. Maybe Murphy had it right, trying to avoid her...but no, the whole point of coming in here was for her to face her circumstances rather than keep existing in uncertainty, and she needed to be staunch about it. She wriggles her wrists, still caught by Murphy’s hand, and he does release her but then his fingers skim down her arm and side, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. 

 

He descends over her again, his weight pressing her into the bed, and when he speaks, low and insisting at her ear, she can’t help but shiver. “What, exactly, did you come in here for, Raven?”


	5. Chapter 5

As she followed Murphy through the ventilation system, Raven wondered if it was possible to feel both proud of her actions and completely annoyed at herself for them. She  _ had _ been tempted to say fuck it all and just give in to her physical impulses, especially with Murphy almost naked and looming above her. But she couldn’t keep existing in this unknown limbo with him, so she’d managed to slide her hands up his arms and gently shove him off her, quietly telling him she wanted to discuss their options about the plant. Although she’d heard him sigh, Murphy had rolled to his feet and put on some pants before nudging her silently out the door. In the hallway, he’d pulled on a tshirt and handed her something as well, and the confusion must have shown in her eyes, because he’d bluntly told her that if she wanted him to concentrate on whatever she had to say, then she needed to cover up. She’d felt the blush rise on her cheeks, because she had come out to find him in just what she slept in, which consisted of a tank top and shorts, as well as socks on her feet due to the cool floors. It wasn’t overly revealing, really, but maybe she should have added a bra before she left her room. She partially buttoned the long-sleeved shirt over her pajamas, appreciating the extra layer since during the night cycle of the ship, things did get chillier onboard as they ran less systems to save resources. 

 

When they arrive in the captain’s safe room, she crosses to the computer terminal and flicks on the communications system, just in case anyone ends up looking for her and Murphy at this late hour. She turns on the external camera feed too, because she likes looking at the monitors that give her a view of the new planet, imagining her friends down there, exploring and hopefully finding places they can make into their own. Raven wipes her palms along the sides of Murphy’s shirt, suddenly nervous at the prospect of discussing how to deal with the strange plant that’s caused such turmoil between the two of them. Murphy’s picked up an extra blanket from one of the storage cabinets against the wall, and he’s now perched on the end of the cot, watching her in the shadows cast by the computer lights. She sits at the head of the bed, facing Murphy, pulling her injured leg into a more comfortable position and tugging the covers up to her waist to keep warm.

 

“We don’t have a lot of options with this plant. I’m sure you’ve probably considered a few of our potential choices, just as well as I have, but let me sum up.” Raven announces succinctly. “There’s not a lot of people up here and awake right now, and though we  _ could _ consider waking more of them, that’s going to put a drain on the food and water supply and other infrastructure we’ve got going for us until we can go to the planet more permanently. I don’t recommend this option and I don’t think Abby will go for it either.” Murphy nods and she continues, counting off the prospects on her fingers. “I made a chart with everyone awake and everyone on planet, and we already know that Jordan, Abby, Jackson and Diyoza have seen the plant in various combinations. We could test it with everyone but Madi, trying out different pairings, but it’s a lot to ask of people when if it works, it might mean they end up having sex with each other. Gaia, Niylah and Shaw are the only ones up here who haven’t tried it, then we could try with Bellamy, Echo, Clarke, Indra, Octavia, Emori or Miller, if we asked them to return. If we hypothesize that the plant is connecting people who can biologically procreate then same-sex couples aren’t going to work, and that rules some pairings out. Honestly, I’m not really sure what activated the plant though, so probably…”

 

Murphy puts his hand on her blanket covered knee and interrupts her. “We could come up with loads of pairings from everyone you listed, and even if everyone was willing to be lab rats, which I doubt they will, there’s still no guarantee we’d get any results. Yeah, I’ve thought about it too, and like it or not, the only reactions so far come from you and me. It’s possible if we went in front of the plant with someone other than each other, we might get a reaction but we won’t know until we try it, and if the goal is to get answers quickly, then we have to consider that.” Murphy’s face clearly shows his displeasure at this option, but Raven considers it something of a win that he’s come to this conclusion without her having to push him into it. 

 

She shrugs. “Another option is to just do nothing and hope and assume that the intentions weren’t really that bad. I mean, I got a bruise around my wrist but that could have been worse - the vines were strong enough they could have snapped the bone, but it didn’t. And, the vines pulled me closer to the plant but they could have just as easily broken my neck, I guess. Like Abby pointed out, the pollen made me choke but that’s probably because I swallowed so much of it rather than it just being on my skin, like you. If we base our decision on that, then the plant wasn’t necessarily looking to do  _ harm _ , exactly.”

 

He raises his eyebrows at her doubtfully. “I don’t think either one of us believes we’re gonna get away with doing nothing about this, and the objections won’t just come from Abby, once everyone knows this plant  _ might _ be potentially dangerous. Even I don’t want somebody just stumbling into a situation like this. I get that figuring it out, or at least getting more information, is the right thing to do. I just don’t  _ like it _ .” 

 

“So if you’re willing to go in front of the plant with another woman, the choices on the ship are Diyoza, Abby, Gaia and Niylah.” Raven keeps her voice level but her stomach churns in response to her words. 

 

“Diyoza is already pregnant, there’s no way I’m even going to consider going in there with Abby - that’s just wrong, and I’m pretty sure Niylah and Gaia both prefer women, so how about we say all that lets me off the hook.” Murphy looks at her hopefully and she can’t deny she feels jealousy claw at her with the thought of him just going  _ near _ that fucking plant with someone else, let alone it actually working and what that would mean. But he’s not hers, and he can’t be, so she swallows hard and sits up straighter. 

 

“Then you’ll just have to wait for Emori to come back from the planet and you can go in with her.”

 

“What, no, I don’t want to have sex with Emori!” Murphy’s face is twisted with affront. “That’s not, we’re not in a relationship like that any more and haven’t been since before we left the Ring. We had one moment where we sort of considered trying again, but I’m not looking to reopen that.” She can tell he’s agitated with her for suggesting it, but she’s on a roll now and the part of her that’s filled with resentment over this predicament just can’t stop. 

 

Raven crosses her arms and gives him a tight-lipped smile, and even she knows she’s taking things too far with her snide tone. “Then there’s still Clarke, Echo, Indra or Octavia to choose from.”

 

Murphy’s hand tightens where it still rests on her knee, and his voice raises in disbelief. “Jesus, what’s the matter with you, Raven? I don’t want to sleep with  _ any _ of them!” He glares at her bitterly. “How about we talk about who  _ you _ can go have sex with, since you so obviously don’t care who I fuck, just as long as I do it! Jackson’s still on the ship, or since he doesn’t go for women, you can sleep with Jordan, he’s about your age!”

 

“That’s disgusting, Murphy, and you know it!” She scowls at him and leans forward aggressively, poking him in his uninjured shoulder to make her point. “I don’t care how old he is, I would  _ never _ !”

 

“Fine!” Murphy yells. “Then you can radio down to Bellamy or Miller and get them to be your guinea pigs, or better yet, just walk over to the med area and get your friend, Shaw, to help you out! You already like him, that’s probably the best solution anyway - the two of you can go at it so the rest of us don’t have to!” He doesn’t remember ever feeling this angry at Raven before, he’s always had more patience with her, but now he feels like she’s pushed him too far. The frustration he has over this argument and the fucked up situation they’re in is suddenly tangled with the irrational, possessive, envious fury at the idea of anyone else touching her and he clenches his hands into fists at his side, wishing he could hit something. 

 

Raven barely seems concerned with his sudden surliness, as her eyes have narrowed dangerously at his comments, and she’s risen to her knees so she can look down on him fiercely as her own temper spills over. She’s practically hissing at him when she spits out her words. “You listen to me, John Murphy, you don’t get to tell me what to do! If I decide to suck it up and take someone else in to see that plant, you’re just going to have to deal with it, same as me! It’s  _ my _ decision, not…” 

 

Murphy cuts her off as he surges forward and seizes her jaw in his palm, capturing her mouth with his. Raven makes a noise in her throat that he swears sounds exasperated, but she doesn’t end the kiss or smack him, so he grasps her underneath her thighs and pulls her forward the short distance into his lap, curling her legs around his back before sliding his hands into her hair and angling her head the way he wants it. She might stop this at any moment but it was too much, all these damned feelings, and there wasn’t anything he could do but kiss her with all the pent up desire he’s been holding in. Fuck, yes, she’s kissing him back just as hungrily as he’s kissing her, but now that he’s got her around him, he’s feeling greedy and he’s going to take whatever she’ll let him have. He stretches one hand down between them and slides it up under the edge of her tank top to feel the smooth bare skin of her stomach, and Raven tightens her fingers in his hair and squirms closer. 

 

These frantic kisses are different from before, more desperate, and he’s not sure if it’s him or her bringing that hurried pace or if they’re feeding off of each other, but he doesn’t want to slow down, especially not if she might change her mind. He’s a bastard for feeling this way, he knows it, but he’s past caring unless she puts a stop to this. Her hands flutter down from his hair to the bottom buttons of his shirt she’s wearing, and once he senses she’s got them all, he pushes it down her arms and off, then grabs the hem of her tank top and yanks it over her head, breaking the kiss for only a moment before sucking her bottom lip back into his mouth. Now he’s got all this glorious naked skin just waiting for his hands to explore, and he runs them along her ribs, just under her breasts, and then up her back to cup her shoulders so he can pull her down as he grinds himself against her center. She whimpers and tugs at his shirt, her tongue sliding against his and between them they eventually manage to get his shirt off with hardly a lull between their insatiable kissing. 

 

He’s been in almost a constant state of desire for her these last two days, and as much as he wants to linger and drive her as crazy as she’s made him, he’s too impatient to go slow. He slips his hand into the leg of her shorts and crawls his fingers under the elastic of her panties to stroke her, unable to hold back a growl at how wet she is, teasing circles around her clit and sinking one long finger inside her. Raven drops her head back, gasping, and he licks up her throat to her ear, his voice husky as he asks her, “You sure?”, not knowing what he’s going to do if she suddenly says no.  

 

“Yes, hurry,  _ please _ …” Raven pants, tilting her head back to his for more wicked kisses, and fuck, hearing her say that just turns him on  _ more _ . He wraps one arm under her ass and lifts her up while he raises to his knees and uses his other hand to pull down the loose pants and underwear he’s wearing. He settles himself back down on his heels, pushing her panties and shorts to one side to rub his cock against her slick heat before slowly inching inside. 

 

************************************************

 

One moment she’d been ranting at Murphy furiously, and the next moment his lips had been on hers, demanding she open her mouth and let him have her, making her want to sob in relief. There was no point in fighting it, not when it was exactly what she wanted, so she told herself  _ thank god, yes, just one more time _ and gave herself over to the addicting feel of kissing Murphy. When he pulls her into his lap like she’s been daydreaming about the last two days in her workshop, it’s a wonder she doesn’t come in her panties just from that. They’re moving fast this time, and she wants him that way so her guilt won’t creep in and convince her to stop. He’s so hot against her skin and when they finally get his shirt off, she pushes her breasts against his chest and it’s both relief and more tension coiling inside her. Wrapping her arms tighter around his neck, she kisses him with all the conflicting emotions he makes her feel, and when he slips his finger inside her and knows how absolutely soaked she is, she tosses her head back in pleasure and begs him to hurry, no longer caring at all about anything but how he’s making her feel. 

 

Murphy circles an arm around her waist and lifts her, and soon after he’s pressing himself up into her cunt, slowly enough to drive her mad. His arm holds most of her body up, keeping her weight off her knees and leg, though she’s still got her brace on so it’s not as awkward a position as it could be. She wants to lower herself down onto him faster, but he’s stronger and has control, at least until he gives it away. She rests her hands on his shoulders, her mouth slanting over his, and makes a slow twist with her hips. He nips at her tongue but she sinks down farther onto his cock and hums at how  _ good _ he feels, the pressure of him forcing her body to open farther and let him inside. She tightens her thighs around his waist and concentrates on clenching her pelvic muscles around him, and when he groans in her mouth and his arm relaxes enough for her to finally drop fully onto him, it’s exactly what she wants. She stills, wanting to savor the stretch and burn of him completely filling her, she doesn’t remember ever feeling so full, and he’s so perfect inside her she can hardly stand it. 

 

Murphy takes his arm from her waist and settles it just under her ass, lifting her as she raises up and glides back down onto him, and he lets her set a rhythm she likes as she rests her head on his shoulder and tries to remember to breathe. With each thrust he goes deeper and deeper inside her and it feels like her whole body is a live wire just waiting to explode. “Oh, yes, Murphy  _ more _ ,” she whines at him, the tip of his cock rubbing just the right spot, and she’s so close already. 

 

When she starts to speed up, he slips his hand between her legs and has her coming by the third swipe over her clit, and when she opens her mouth to scream, he knots his fist in her hair and swallows her moans with his mouth. He holds her up as she shudders against him, and when she comes back to herself and her eyes can focus again, she’s shocked to feel pressure building inside her anew from his steady thrusts. The way her body responds to him might make her feel self-conscious if she thinks about it later, but there’s no denying everything he does just makes her even more desperate for him. Murphy’s thumb caresses her chin and then he’s kissing across her cheek, muttering something about needing to pull out, and she wraps herself more tightly around him in response, determined to keep him where she wants him. 

 

“Fuck, Raven… I’m trying to be responsible here.” He clenches his jaw as he slows down his hips to stave off his orgasm. “We don’t know...fuck, you gotta stop that…the birth control could fail.” She can tell he’s gritting his teeth as he tries to speak, because she’s playing dirty by squeezing the muscles along his length again, and oh, it’s turning her on that he’s concerned about consequences, but there’s no way this gets to end with him pulling out. 

 

She tilts her head closer, murmuring in his ear insistently, “I don’t want you to stop. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it...right now I need you to fuck me harder and then I want to feel you come inside me.” She barely gets her words finished before he practically devours her lips, his left arm curling under hers and up her back so he can wrap his hand around her shoulder to pull her down more firmly onto his cock and keep her in place. He spreads his knees further apart for leverage and starts to thrust up into her so relentlessly she sees sparks behind her eyelids. Fuck, if a little dirty talk gets him this aggressive, she could think of a lot more to say, but all she can do is hold on tight and whimper, and if he keeps hitting that spot deep inside her just like  _ that  _ she’s going to come again. She’s desperate for more air and arches her head back to gulp in a deep breath, and just as she does, Murphy uses the hand on her shoulder to adjust her angle against him, plunging into her further, his free fingers roughly twisting her clit, as his mouth latches on to the faded bruise at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, sucking so hard that all the sensations push her right over the edge and she comes without warning, her body stiffening against him as she cries out. Murphy manages a few more erratic thrusts before he follows her over and his cock twitches deep within her, making her shiver as he fills her up with his come. 

 

Raven slumps bonelessly against him, completely spent. Murphy drops his head onto her shoulder and they stay like that until their breathing slows and the sweat cools on their skin. Then he leans her backwards until her head hits the pillow, and he’s pulling out of her and leaving a kiss on her neck before leaning down to remove his pants and underwear. He carefully removes her brace while she watches him from under her lashes, gently putting it on the floor. His hands then grab the waistband of her shorts and slide them and her panties down her legs, leaving her socks, and a tired grin tugs at her lips because she completely forgot she still had them on. Murphy stretches out beside her and spreads the blanket over them, pulling her close, and she decides she’ll think about this later. 

 

************************************

  
  


Raven wakes up in the dark, the illuminated glow of the computer monitor still providing the only light in the room, and rolls a little more on her side to look at Murphy. She doesn’t think it’s quite morning yet, since she doesn’t exactly feel rested, but somehow she figured out how to complicate things further with him rather than clear them up like she intended when she went to his room. She stares at him unblinkingly, wondering if she looks long enough if she’ll be able to figure out what she should do. He must sense her movement, because his blue eyes soon open to her gaze and she’s reminded how even in the beginning, when he was so horrible, she’d always thought he had pretty eyes, but it didn’t take long for her to learn that they always gave him away, and if she looked closely enough, she could see what he was thinking. For a long time his eyes had always looked at her with apology, and it was a big reason why she’d forgiven him for shooting her, because she knew he really did regret it. Over the years his eyes had become so familiar to her, but the way he was looking at her now was something new. 

 

Carefully choosing her words, she acknowledges what occurred between them. “I think we got caught up in the emotions of this crazy situation we’re in, but we can’t let that happen again.” 

 

Murphy actually has the damn audacity to laugh at her before he calms down enough to speak. “You don’t think we should do that again?” He reaches out and skims his hand along her waist and hip before she can push him away, then moves his hand to her lower back and rebelliously pulls her closer to him. “I disagree. I think we should let that happen any time we want.”

 

Shaking her head resignedly, she looks up at him. “No, Murphy, we have to be realistic. This can’t work. Everything is too complicated and I don’t like the guilt that comes with it.”

 

He stares down at her in confusion, the hand on her back gently rubbing up and down. “What do you feel guilty about?” and her eyes widen in surprise.    
  


“You  _ don’t _ feel guilty about this?” Raven asks, incredulously. 

 

“I think we both know you’re a much nicer person than me, so no, I’m not feeling guilty about anything. Why’re  _ you _ ?” 

 

“Um, maybe because your ex-girlfriend is my friend. Because this,” she gestures between them, “doesn’t just complicate you and me and our friendship, but it could cause a rift between the five of us left from the Ring, and especially now that we’ve just lost Monty and Harper, I don’t want anything like that to happen to all of us.” She pauses for a moment but then quietly adds, “And anyway, this… attraction between us is because of a freaking plant and it might fade away tomorrow, so we shouldn’t let something temporary dictate our behavior.”

 

This time it’s Murphy shaking his head at her, but he adds in an eye roll for good measure. “Doesn’t your brain ever get tired? Okay, fine, we’ll discuss this. Considering what you and me have already been through, I don’t think anything that happens between us is going to ruin our friendship. If we continue having sex or don’t, I’m not going anywhere, are you? And as far as the five of us goes, you didn’t really think about the evidence you already have. When Emori and I fought or broke up on the Ring, did the rest of you take sides then? Did you only remain friends with one of us?” Murphy nudges her to look at him. “And as much as I don’t wanna think about it, between you and me, don’t you think there’s a good chance that things could become… complicated with Bellamy and Echo, now that Clarke’s not dead and they’re around each other every day again? I mean, I dunno what’s going to happen, but would you stop being friends with Echo if she wasn’t with Bellamy anymore?”

 

“Of course not, I love Echo!” Raven bites her lip. “But yeah… I know what you mean.”

 

Since she continues to look thoughtful, Murphy decides to prod her once more. “You’re thinking about this from the perspective of how other people are going to feel. That’s not a bad thing but it doesn’t mean you have to ignore what  _ you _ want. When we woke up and found out that Monty and Harper had lived a whole life together, on their own, you and me talked about how we felt kind of cheated out of that because we missed them, but neither of us ever thought that they didn’t deserve to make their  _ own _ choice about it, even though that choice might not have been what the rest of us would have preferred. You know it’s not actually your responsibility to make sure that everything goes well for everybody else, right?”

 

He lets that sink in for a few quiet moments and gently combs some of the knots out of her hair with his fingers. They don’t talk about it, ever actually, but he knows she has just as much baggage from her mother as he does from his. In her, it’s easy to see that some of that manifests in taking on too much responsibility, trying to control the outcome of things so she’s always one step ahead and never stumbling into something she’s unprepared for. Years of walking on eggshells and desperately trying not to trigger an enraged outburst from an alcoholic parent by anticipating their every need and giving it to them before they can complain definitely brings some long-term damage with it. Raven’s coping skills may have been a bit healthier than his, but she still puts her own needs behind everyone else’s, and he hopes he’s getting through to her that it’s okay for her to want things for herself. 

 

She hasn’t moved away from him since he pulled her closer, but he’s hesitant to take things any farther now that he understands why she’s skittish about it. He knows he could choose to convince her, if he wanted to. When he kissed her in the middle of their argument, there was no alien plant pollen putting images in their head, it was only him and her and their own attraction and need for each other. He’s learned enough about what she likes now that if he bent his head to suck at her throat, or slid his hand along the side of her breast to tease her nipple with his thumb, she’d give in to him and he could have her again. He’s tempted… he knows her body wants him, will respond to his touch even if her brain is saying they can’t, and a part of him is selfish enough not to care  _ how _ he convinces her, just as long as he does. 

 

But despite the fact that he could do it, he knows he won’t. She deserves better than that, and he wants to be honest with her, anyway. Since he opened his eyes, she’s been pretty still, just watching him, but she’s managed to slowly wedge her right foot between his, to get warmer probably, but he’ll take it as a good sign. “I always made it clear to Emori that you were important to me, you have been for a long time. I don’t think she’s going to be surprised if we decide to be more than friends. But whether we do or not, you should know that I didn’t suddenly become attracted to you because of some plant, it’s not some temporary thing. I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Pretty much from the moment I first saw you.”

 

Other than her eyes widening a little at that confession, she doesn’t give him much of an outward response, but now it occurs to him that just because he’s wanted this for longer than he might want to acknowledge, that doesn’t mean that it’s that way for her. Maybe the plant opened the lid on some boxed up feelings on his part, but maybe for her it really was just strange leftover pheromones getting flushed out of her system. He feels a painful twinge in his stomach at the thought. “Unless you think this is something temporary for  _ you _ …” he offers uneasily. 

 

“No,” she quickly responds. Raven’s eyes flick up, and her hand lifts and hesitates for a moment before coming to rest on his chest. “I…it’s not temporary.” Her gaze searches his and she swallows the nervous lump in her throat. “Part of the reason I feel guilty about this is because I thought about having sex with you long before we got covered in alien pollen. But you were with Emori and it made me feel like a bad friend, so I just tried to ignore it. And then we got back down to Earth and there was a chance for me to start something with Shaw, and I thought I should try that because I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize our friendship or screw up the family we made over the last six years.”

 

Murphy doesn’t think there’s much she could have said that would have stunned him more. The realization that Raven’s thought about having sex with him  _ long _ before this makes him immediately want to know when, exactly, she felt that way, and he’s shaken, wondering if all those times he was thinking about  _ her _ she could have been thinking the same thing about him. All those years he spent squashing every single feeling about her until only the friendship part remained on the surface, how did he not know that somewhere in there, she might have been doing the same thing? Part of him wants to ask her but depending on what she says, it might actually be too awful to consider, how they might’ve been wasting time. He didn’t think she’d see him as anything but a friend - her best friend, maybe, but still that was it. So it stings to admit it, but no, he doesn’t think that he would have ever told her about  _ his _ feelings, at least not without some kind of clear signal from her first. Would he have ever known anything about her feelings if they hadn’t managed to look at that plant together? Fuck, what if she’d really gotten together with Shaw and he never even knew there was a  _ chance _ that she could feel that way about him… jesus, the sheer possibility of one tiny thing not combining to put them in the same place at the same time to come into contact with that incredible plant was making his head spin, but one thing he’s certain about - he’s not gonna waste this moment. 

 

Raven’s concern rises both at his continued silence and at the dazed look on his face. “Murphy, um, are you going to say anything?”

  
He blinks and shakes his head as if to clear it, and the way he stares down at her makes her feel like he can see right into every secret thought she’s ever had about him. There’s an intensity to his voice that wasn’t there before when he finally speaks. “I’m kind of overwhelmed right now, but I know how I feel and I want you to know it, too. I think I fell a little bit in love with you all those years ago when you didn’t tell Abby I shot you, and then you managed to fix things so we could become friends. And now I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t in it. I don’t just love you - I’m  _ in love _ with you, and if you don’t want this, then I’ll deal with that and I’d never pressure you. But if you want me even half as much as I want you, then I hope you’ll give us a chance.” He’s not sure how Raven’s going to respond to his declaration, but he feels surprisingly calm for having finally said it. All he can do now is cross his fingers and pray for a fucking miracle that he knows he doesn’t deserve. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit it - a terrible spot to leave you hanging. But this chapter was already longer than the others and I have to sleep sometime, so as I tell my kidlets: "You get what you get, and you don't get upset." 
> 
> LOLOLOL.... I hope you all know how much I truly appreciate each one of you reading my story. This chapter proves to myself I can deal with writing the smut pretty easily, but errgh, the "let's talk about our feelings" scene was a whole other kettle of fish.
> 
> One line in this chapter is a partial quote from SuperStore that Jonah says to Amy and I thought fit what I wanted to say.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay on this chapter! I'd been updating much quicker than this, but I have two young kiddos and school, soccer and dance have started, along with two family birthdays, so I had less time to work on this one. And I wanted to make sure these scenes 'felt' right to me, so I needed to live with them a little while. As a bonus though, it's a bit longer than some of the other chapters, so I hope you enjoy it!

Raven’s never been self-conscious of her intelligence. It was clear from a young age that she was smart, and she’d embraced it, probably even clung to it, as a quality she had going for her when so much else around her seemed to be in shambles. She’d made a point of learning everything she could on The Ark, and she’d never regretted it because her knowledge had saved her ass many times - and plenty of other asses, too. And in her six years or so on the Ring, once they had gotten settled in properly, there had been a lot of time for her to be in her own head and imagine what life would be like, once they got back down on the ground, or even what life could have been like, if some things had never happened at all, or if they’d happened but with some small change. One of her favorite mental games had always been a what-would-I-do-if scenario where she’d conjure up random situations that could happen and how she’d work them out. Yeah, some were based on necessity, like something happening to their air filters or the water recycler, but other things were just silly or never even made much sense to begin with but were still fun to theoretically resolve. So she’d certainly spent more than her fair share of time in fantasyland during the monotonous years in space. 

 

But neither her intellect or her daydreams had ever led her to believe that at some point she would end up in bed, naked with John Murphy, where he’s revealing he’s in love with her. She hasn’t prepared for this, she doesn’t have a plan in place, and her brain seems like it’s moving in slow motion in figuring out what to do. Raven thinks it’s been ages since he’s spoken while she just stares at him wide-eyed, and a bit of panic is setting in since ideas haven’t started to flow like they normally do…how is it possible to feel so hopeful and so anxious at the same time? He’s in love with her, which is such a foreign concept it hardly seems real, but she supposes she has an excuse to feel so flustered after his confession. She’s spent so much time suppressing her feelings for him that now that she actually wants to talk about them, she has no idea how to open up and put them into words. What if he’s regretting that he told her because she can’t think of anything to say, how do people even manage to function when someone hits them with something so huge and emotional? She takes a deep breath and then suddenly, she understands what she has to do, and she almost wants to laugh at her ignorance. 

 

Because the answer is so obvious - much as she relies on her brain for practically everything else, this time the only thing that’s going to give her any answers is her heart. Which, all things considered, doesn’t have quite the track record her logic does. She sighs, wishing that decisions made with her emotions filled her with more confidence. Murphy must have heard her, because the hand he has resting over her hip stirs, and it takes Raven out of her musings enough to focus on eye contact again. When she does, it’s another kind of answer as she feels herself relax under his scrutiny. Maybe it’s not so important that she gets the words right, she considers. Maybe what’s important is that she’s willing to take the risk. 

 

He doesn’t look impatient with her, although she’s sure she’s been silent an uncomfortable amount of time. The look on his face is more uncertain, and she hurries to reassure him. “I’m sorry. I had to think,” she tells him, “but not because I don’t know how I feel, more that I had to sort it all out.”

 

“You don’t have to answer if you’re not ready, and if you want more time...”

 

“I don’t need more time,” Raven interrupts him, willing him to understand what she’s about to say. “Since I was a kid and I was old enough to understand that my situation wasn’t a good one, I always imagined being part of a family, to feel like I belonged and that there were people who knew me and accepted me, no matter what. I wanted people to _want_ me around, so I figured out how to make that happen by being smart and solving problems, but it wasn’t the same thing. I thought I had found a family with Finn, but it wasn’t until Sinclair that I understood what that feeling was supposed to feel like, what it meant to have someone who really felt like home. Being stuck in space for years made our group into a family, and as hard as so much of it was, I’ll always be grateful for that time we all had. It gave me something I’d been missing since Sinclair died.” She pauses to take a shuddering breath because thinking about Sinclair always makes her feel teary. Murphy’s watching her cautiously and she’s not as nervous about this as she thought she was going to be, she realizes. 

 

“We woke up and I’ve been trying to adjust to all these changes, and I’m really unsettled because things are so different now… I don’t know what’s going to happen. Part of my family is already gone and the people around me are ones I’ve barely seen for years or who I don’t even know. But you…you’ve been a constant presence for so long, such a big part of my life, and you always somehow manage to make me feel better even when things are awful. Something changed for me and I tried not to feel it but it wouldn’t go away... I don’t know exactly when it happened but there’s nobody more important to me than you.  _ You _ feel like home to me, but it’s more than that because I want to kiss you all the time and I don’t want to try to convince myself anymore that I don’t want you when I know that I  _ do _ .” She’s watched his eyes darken as she spoke, and as much as she thinks she might burst if she doesn’t press her naked body against him and touch him all over, she also wants to give him the words. “Just in case I haven’t made it clear, I am completely in love with you, John Murphy, so could you please kiss me now?”

 

Murphy lunges forward, his lips assailing hers demandingly, and Raven is breathless almost immediately with the thrill of it. His skin is so hot against hers as he’s crushing her into the bed, and already she can feel her body hungering for more, desperate to have him inside her again. It’s as if telling him how she felt had opened a dam inside her and now her body is restless with all the emotion trying to pour out. She writhes closer to him and rocks her hips up against his, kissing him passionately, her breath catching in her throat when he grinds down against her in reaction. Her hands roam everywhere, down his shoulders, over his chest, up his back and into his hair to bring him tighter against her, as his own hands send sensation spiking through her as they caress her breasts and belly, gliding along her hips and thighs and spreading fire everywhere he touches. 

 

“One of these days we’re going to take this slow,” he murmurs huskily along her throat, dragging his lips along the sensitive skin of her neck and collarbone in that way of his that always makes her shiver. “But not now,” he adds, as he hikes her injured knee high along his hip and slides into her deep, his eyes on hers as he fills her, giving her only a moment to stretch around him before setting a fast, insistent rhythm that was going to have her coming in no time. The way he makes her burn so easily overwhelms her and her heart races as her body softens around him. She wraps her other leg around his back, wanting to pull him into her even further, and is suddenly, blissfully aware that this was  _ not _ going to be the last time they got to do this. That thought, combined with a dirty little twist of Murphy’s hips that hit her just right and her orgasm washes over her, leaving her gasping for air and unable to do anything but shudder and cry out. When she opens her eyes again, Murphy leans down over her to kiss her sweetly before ducking his head to the side and whispering in her ear. “Say it again.”

 

She smiles dreamily and combs her fingers through his tousled hair. “I love you.” Her hands skate down his back, nails digging in just enough to make him tremble. “I love you.” She can feel the desperate tension in his body, his need for release, and she tilts her head back in pleasure as she tightens her muscles around him. “I love you.” Murphy thrusts uncontrollably and his cock pulses inside her as he comes, a broken groan huffing out along her neck as he collapses on top of her. 

 

Grabbing blindly for the blankets, she manages to catch the edge of one and clumsily pulls it over them, utterly exhausted. 

 

Murphy gently turns onto his back, tucking her into his side as he smoothes her hair and drops a kiss onto the top of her head. “I love you, too,” he tells her, and that’s all she remembers before she’s asleep. 

 

*****************************************

 

His first thought when he opens his eyes is that he could get used to waking up like this, with Raven all warm and silky draped over him and her hair tickling his nose. His second thought is wondering if it’s too soon for them to take one of the precious few single rooms on the Eligius, and if she thinks it is, how long it’s going to take for him to convince her to do it so they don’t have to sleep apart. His third thought might have something to do with hunger, but then she’s stretching a bit in his embrace and he forgets everything but the desire to kiss her. He leans over, propping himself up on his elbow, and watches her blink sleepily up at him. 

 

“We overslept, didn’t we?” she mumbles. 

 

“Pretty sure it’s past breakfast, yeah. But since we’re already late anyway…” He angles his head down and his lips brush over hers, and he intends for it to be sweet, relaxed, just to tell her good morning, because he knows they need food, the bathroom, showers. Only then she makes a satisfied little hum in the back of her throat, and the feel of her, the taste of her, is an addictive spark he can’t escape, doesn’t want to, and after merely moments the kiss intensifies and her arms are around his neck and his intentions are no longer sweet and relaxed. 

 

Raven tears her mouth away suddenly. “Oh! I just had a thought!”

 

“Really?” Murphy frowns down at her bemusedly, his palm just grazing along her ribs. “If you’re capable of thinking while I’m kissing you, then clearly I’m going to have to double down on my efforts.”

 

She laughs and pulls his face back to hers to plant an impulsive, affectionate kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Something just occurred to me about that plant, and I can’t let myself forget it.” She looks at him from under her lashes and he spots a faint tinge of pink on her cheeks. “Besides, I think we both know you barely have to touch me and I’m so turned on I can’t see straight.”

 

The way his eyes rake over her at her words is so heated her skin instantly feels too tight and a jolt of lust ignites low in her belly. “I did notice that,” he murmurs, and his thumb strokes over her nipple. “And I plan to exploit that at every opportunity.” His mouth descends to her other breast and she arches up into him as his tongue licks and sucks and drives her mad, and she marvels again at how her body responds to him so immediately. 

 

When a loud voice sounds through the communication speaker at the computer station in the corner, Raven jumps in alarm and hears Murphy groan in frustration at Abby’s request that they both report to the medical office. 

 

“Fuck, that woman has the worst timing!” He drops his forehead to rest on her navel and she runs her fingers through his hair, mentally pouting that they’re going to have to get up. 

 

Before Murphy gets off the bed, he leaves a lingering kiss on her stomach, reminding Raven that not only hadn’t they been careful either time they’d had sex last night, but she’s pretty sure the first time she’d practically ordered him to come inside her. Probably why Abby was looking for them, since they were late for their blood tests and hadn’t shown up in the lab yet. Still, she can’t find it in herself to regret any of her behavior. 

 

Murphy collected her clothes and brace from the floor and brought them to her, and when they had both dressed and crawled through the ventilation shaft into the storage closet, she twined her arms around his waist and allowed herself a moment to relax against him, reluctant to part ways. 

 

“I want a shower. Will you go to Abby first and tell her I’ll be there after?” she asks him. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll give her my blood sample and then fit in breakfast and a shower too. Meet you in your workshop after?”

 

She groans. “Ugh, yes, but as soon as I go in there, Diyoza’s going to know exactly what we were doing last night and she’s going to be practically gleeful even if she doesn’t actually make a snarky comment about it in front of Jordan. She’ll just be giving me furtive little looks all day like she’s reading my mind.”

 

Murphy grins down at her. “I think that’s her way of saying she likes you, getting mouthy and observant.”

 

Raven steps back from him and teasingly pokes him in the side as she moves to open the door. “Well, I guess you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Her laughter follows him down the hallway as he walks towards the medical rooms. 

 

******************************************

 

The shower felt so good she stayed under the spray longer than she’d planned, her body feeling slightly sore but loose in that well-used way that she barely remembered. She hurried through getting dressed in some clothes she’d grabbed from her room, and she’d put in another long braid along her shoulder after seeing in the mirror that Murphy had restored the mark along her neck that he seemed so fond of. Picking up one of the flavorless protein bars from the kitchen area and eating it along the way, she found Abby alone, engrossed in one of the microscopes in her medical domain. 

 

“Sorry I’m late. Should I use this palm reader?” She gestured to the one along the wall, and when Abby nodded, she put her hand down and made a little wince as the needle pierced her finger. 

 

Abby looked up curiously from the microscope. “I didn’t know quite what to think when you and John didn’t show up after breakfast. Madi said you weren’t in the room when she woke up.”

 

“Wow, Abby,” Raven smiles playfully, “your subtlety is really bad.”

 

“You’re right, I guess I’m out of practice.” Laughing, Abby comes around the counter and leans against it, peering at Raven with a raised eyebrow. “John was in here for about thirty seconds to leave a blood sample and tell me that you’d be in later, and I admit I’m curious if you’ve worked something out about how we should proceed with the plant.”

 

Pulling out a stool that’s tucked under the counter, Raven hoists herself up and sits. “Well, we talked about it a little last night. But this morning something occurred to me that’s made me rethink a few things. I’ll discuss it with Murphy, but I think we should have a plan by dinnertime.”

 

“That sounds good. Jackson and I haven’t gotten any further with the pheromones, as predicted. They’re just more complex than anything I know of. Fascinating, though, and with most everyone still in cryo or down on the planet, I’ve got plenty of time to study your test results.” Abby considers Raven thoughtfully. “And speaking of test results, you haven’t asked but so far there’s no increased hCG levels in your blood. I’ll keep an eye on it and when Clarke comes back from the planet, I’m hoping we’ll have some time to do more thorough testing. There’s a few female Arkers still left among Wonkru but they’re all in cryo still, so for those awake, only you, Clarke, Octavia and I have implants that could fail, but each of us has unique circumstances that could have affected the implants differently.”

 

“What do you mean we could all be different?” Raven asks, eyes narrowed in apprehension. 

 

“Okay, well first, I’m older than all of you and therefore so is my implant, so that’s something different for me. Octavia’s implant was the newest, since she only got one on The Ark after she was discovered and put in lockup. Then, you and Harper both went back to space for six years while Octavia, Clarke and I were on the ground for that time. Our bodies and how they age react differently to time in space, and that could be a positive or a negative for the implant, although as we both know, Harper’s had to fail at some point, we just don’t know when or how. Then, we have to take our diets into consideration. Only Clarke really had a healthy diet during those six years, but she was a nightblood and suffered through some radiation, so either of those circumstances could have had an affect. Then we all could have received cryo damage to the devices, so we have to consider that too. The problem is… I can’t really take the implant out to study it and determine if it’s working properly, because if I do and there’s any issue with putting it back in, we don’t have any more to replace them with.” Abby lifts her hands in frustration. “Ultimately, if we can get down to the planet and get a diet that’s varied enough to put our bodies back into normal rhythms, all of us are going to have to track our cycles pretty carefully if we want to avoid pregnancy, and even that’s not going to be fully reliable.”

 

Discouraged, Raven glares at Abby, making her dismay clear. “Well, this is going to suck.”

 

“I know, believe me. Maybe after you wrap up all the research on the items from the surface, you can put your brain to work creating some kind of barrier method for birth control. But the good news is, we won’t have to keep checking your blood much longer, and I am fairly confident that at least for  _ now _ , we haven’t been awake long enough for catastrophic failure of the implants, unless they failed while we were still on Earth or you were in space for those six years and we just don’t know it yet.”

 

“About that.” Raven straightens her shoulders. “I’m gonna need you to test for pregnancy a little longer than we initially planned.”

 

Abby’s eyebrows raise in concern. “Are you… do either of you still feel affected by the pheromones?”

 

“No, it’s not the plant. It’s just… us. And since I’m being honest, maybe we should just skip the pregnancy testing unless I start to feel some kind of symptoms, because this is going to keep happening.”

 

“I see,” Abby replies. “Well, then, I feel like I would be remiss if I don’t say this as your doctor, so here goes. The two of you should know that a pregnancy at this point could impair your ability to receive any of the nightblood injections, which then impacts whether you can go to the surface of the planet. But, the feedback we’re getting so far from those already down there and your research into potential food they’ve sent up for examination mean that most of us who can go down, will go down, and that would result in less drain on the resources up here if you had to stay in space. So, it wouldn’t be a complete disaster, and as worried as it might make me, Monty and Harper managed to do it successfully and at least you would have me and Jackson to help, and we already have Charmaine in this position anyway, which means soon we’ll actually have experience.”

 

Abby is quiet for a few moments and then clears her throat. “Now that I got that out of the way, do you want to talk about this with me, not as your doctor, but as your friend?”

 

Raven smiles gratefully, her posture relaxing at Abby’s casual tone. “I did miss you during those years we were both stuck in different places, you know. Harper, Emori and Echo and I grew close, but I thought a lot about you and Clarke.” Abby’s hand reaches over to clench her own, and Raven knows that any lingering strife she might have still been harboring has all faded away. Griffin women must have that effect, she decides. “Actually, I am kind of nervous about the reaction there might be, towards me and Murphy being more than just friends.”

 

“Does it worry you enough to not want to move forward with him?” Abby asks. 

 

“No.” Raven bites her lip. “And that’s hard to admit because it makes me feel selfish even though it might upset other people.”

 

Abby squeezes her hand a little harder. “Oh, honey. It’s not selfish to want something for yourself, to feel happy where you can. I hope your friends can understand that, too. Time can change all sorts of things, and I should know. I managed to fall in love with the man who tried to float me and had me shock-lashed for breaking rules. I don’t know if that makes me a good example or a horrible warning, but I do know that I haven’t regretted being with Marcus, despite what we’ve had to go through. Marcus has always been honest with me, even when I haven’t wanted to hear it, and he’s been there for me more than I can count. Does that sound familiar? It actually feels like a pretty solid foundation to me. Try not to be too hard on yourself... Maybe it’ll be awkward at first, but the people that love you will want you to be happy, I’m sure of it.”

 

Raven thinks about Abby’s advice as she follows the corridors to her workshop. Abby was right, that there’s something to be said for honesty even when you don’t want to hear it. Maybe she and Murphy didn’t exactly have a good beginning, but who among them really did anymore? And anyway, she couldn’t deny being intrigued with him, even back then… maybe she was worrying for nothing, after all. She shook her head to stop her brooding, acknowledging that she should instead focus on talking to Murphy about her new ideas about that plant, and hope that he’d agree with the same conclusion she had. 

 

*******************************

 

Murphy slouched in the chair near Raven’s desk, having arrived at the workshop before she did. He’d nodded to Jordan and Diyoza when he walked in, and Raven had been right - Diyoza had taken one look at him and burst into knowing laughter, her ill-disguised mirth making Jordan scrunch up his face in either confusion or exasperation and had Murphy shooting a glare her way. It hadn’t stopped her gloating, though, since a few minutes after he’d settled in, she’d called out to him. 

 

“Hey, Murphy,” Diyoza’s voice rang out in the quiet room, “is Raven coming in today or is she catching up on some sleep?” 

 

How she managed to come across so innocently when he knew for a fact that she was a devious smartass was beyond him. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Between you and McCreary, your kid’s gonna be a rotten little shit, you know that, right?”

 

“Yeah,” she laughs, “It’s gonna be great. Everybody around here needs to be kept on their toes, so might as well be us doing it. Like I told you, waking up after a hundred and twenty five years has me rethinking my priorities. Gotta get my laughs somehow, and your group takes themselves awfully seriously, so they’re an easy target. Besides, you can’t tell me you don’t enjoy how I agitate Octavia or Shaw.” 

 

Murphy grunts in response, but he can admit to himself he does enjoy watching her tick them both off with her cavalier attitude and personal little barbs she’s so good at aiming their way. “I can’t deny you have your usefulness. But I’d recommend keeping it to yourself with Raven today. She might wait ‘til you have that baby but she’ll find a way to get back at you if you piss her off.”

 

“I’ll think about it.” Diyoza shrugs and goes back to whatever she and Jordan are currently studying, and Murphy returns to his book, anxious for Raven to arrive. 

 

Now that he’s more alert, after a shower and some food and some time to think about what happened last night, there’s a part of him wondering if he dreamed the whole thing up. It’s true he tends towards lucky when it comes to escaping death, and if he goes a little deeper he supposes he’s at least a little bit lucky regarding reading people and situations in ways that might give him a slight edge on the outcome, but he knows for sure he is  _ not _ lucky when it comes to relationships and not fucking things up. He’d taken a risk, telling Raven that he was in love with her, and even though he was fairly confident that they’d manage to stay friends even if she turned him down, the last thing he was expecting was for her to tell him she was in love with him, too. He’d reacted on instinct when she said that, unable to concentrate on anything but touching her, and then they hadn’t talked about it this morning when they finally woke up. If he could manage to distract her every time they needed to have a conversation, the odds are better that he won’t mess things up, but not only is Raven too smart for that, he likes listening to her, wants to hear what she thinks and why she thinks it. And then it’s only fair for him to share things in return, despite his knack for putting his foot in his mouth with her. 

 

With that thought, he’s wondering again if he just dreamed everything up, because she was right all those years ago - he is a dick. At least most of the time, anyway. He’s not like her, always trying to do the right thing or protecting everyone even at her own expense. He might care about more people than he ever thought possible, but even so he was ruthlessly honest with himself that there was a hierarchy of who he was loyal to or how far he’d go for them. And even though he might be willing to stick his neck out every now and then, that didn’t mean he actually wanted to spend that much  _ time _ with them all. Being around people could just get so damn suffocating sometimes. Although despite being more of a loner, he’d never felt like her presence was too much to bear, and in fact she was one of the very few people he made a point of actively seeking out, even when he was the last person she wanted to see. How someone as selfless as her managed to fall in love with someone as selfish as him was probably something he was never going to understand, but as long as it was true, he was going to do his best to keep it that way. 

 

He hears the door slide open and discreetly watches over the top of his book as Raven enters the workshop. As she passes by Jordan and says hello to him, Diyoza barely opens her mouth before Raven narrows her eyes dangerously at her. 

 

“If you say one word, one word,  _ Charmaine _ , I promise I will make you regret it.” She swept past the counter to her own work station and therefore didn’t see it, but Diyoza shut her mouth abruptly with a little grin and a flash of respect in her eyes. Murphy couldn’t help but feel his own mouth twitch in response to Raven’s bossiness, but he’d had a feeling she wasn’t going to let Diyoza push her buttons today. 

 

They all worked together companionably with relative silence other than the conversations necessary to the research for a few hours, and Raven had been deliberately not meeting his eyes, though he found himself observing her more than reading his book. Eventually she stood up to stretch out her leg from sitting on the stool for so long, and his eyes were drawn to a small patch of bare skin on her back right above the waist of her pants as her shirt rode up with her movements. He looked up in annoyance as Diyoza deliberately started to cough, and when she didn’t stop at his glare, he went back to watching Raven, only to find her with an amused smile on her face. 

 

She walked towards him and dropped down in the chair opposite his own, the only space in the entire room not clearly dedicated to research and science. Not long ago, Murphy had discovered that Jordan knew how to play chess, so he’d brought a chessboard and a small table he’d found and added them to his spot, along with another comfortable chair for when they’d take a break. Their current game was still in position on the table, and Raven scooted it carefully out of the way as she leaned forward, her knees just brushing his. 

 

“I mentioned that I had a new thought this morning, about our troublesome plant. I told Abby I’d talk to you about it and we might have a plan by dinner.” She wasn’t whispering but it was clear she didn’t want Jordan and Diyoza to overhear everything they said. 

 

Murphy puts down his book and matches her quieter tone. “What’s the verdict then? You have a new plan?” He skates his fingers along her knees and meets her gaze. 

 

“Well, it occurred to me that we all assumed the plant made us have sex, because of those pheromones it dosed us with. But what if that wasn’t entirely the case? You and I both admitted that we were attracted to each other before the plant, and after it, too. So now I’m wondering if we oversimplified.” She reaches for Murphy’s hand on her knee and laces her fingers with his. “When I woke up after that decontamination shower, it wasn’t just that I wanted to have sex - I wanted to have sex with  _ you _ . You weren’t in the room with me then, and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure I wouldn’t have just jumped on anyone else. If another man had come in the room, I wouldn’t have wanted him. Was it like that for you?”

 

He shifts closer to her, a jealous ache stabbing through him at the mere suggestion of anyone else being on the receiving end of her attention. “I wasn’t thinking about anyone else but you, although it was more obsessing over you than thinking. There’s no way I would have been interested if someone else came through the door.”

 

She lets out a relieved little breath that makes him want to pull her to him and kiss her, but before he can act she’s already talking. “Have you had any feelings, any other thoughts, that maybe the pheromones caused? Anything that doesn’t quite feel like yourself or has made you wonder why you felt that way?”

 

At that he squints at her a little suspiciously. “I might’ve had a few thoughts that have been a little… surprising to me, but I can’t really be sure if the plant caused them or not. Why?”

 

Raven shrugs helplessly. “I’m working on a theory here, trying to fit things together. Will you tell me?”

 

“Do you promise not to hold them against me? Because they’re not exactly rational, these thoughts, and just because I think them doesn’t mean I completely agree with them, okay?” He sees her nod slowly and is mystified yet again at how they’ve managed to get caught up in this weird situation. He bends forward and catches her braid with his hand, lifting it away from her neck and exposing the bruise he’d sucked there. What he has to tell her is not something he wants anyone else to know, so he lowers his voice further than before. “The first time we had sex, I got a really strong urge to put marks all over you. That was something new, and it hasn’t really gone away. I like seeing them on you, after, even though it means I was a little rough.” His finger smoothes gently over the mottled skin and her eyes flutter closed at the sensation, or maybe from his words, he can’t be sure, but either way he knows she likes it. 

 

“The thought that’s most confusing though, is a little more complicated than that.” He lets his hand drift down her neckline and over her breast on the outside of her shirt, coming to rest low on her stomach. The way he’s sitting, facing her, he knows the only thing Jordan and Diyoza will see is his back, so he scrunches up her top in order to feel her bare skin, and when he does, she arches into his touch and her eyes start to go a little cloudy. “I know it’s wrong, but there’s a part of me that _wants_ you to be pregnant, that doesn’t care about being careful, that just wants to have you and and mark you and make it obvious that you’re mine. I don’t know where the thoughts are coming from, if they’re in my head or from that plant, but they won’t go away and when I think about them, I get so turned on. Like right now, for example.” Raven makes a quiet, strangled little noise in her throat as he finishes speaking. Her cheeks are flushed and her tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip, and he no longer has anything on his mind other than getting her naked.  

 

“Murphy,” she whispers, her hand reaching for the waistband of his pants, fingering the button but halting before she opens them. “I’m trying to solve this problem and you’re distracting me. We’re supposed to be deciding whether we’re going to look at the plant together again, and instead I want…” She trails off imploringly, and he’s satisfied to know that if he pushed, she’d give in to him. 

 

He straightens and his hand slips lower on her stomach, making her suck in a trembling breath. “If we make a decision, then I can touch you?” he cajoles, and she says yes so quickly it makes him smile. “I think I made it obvious last night that I really don’t like the idea of you anywhere near that plant with anyone else but me.”

 

Her hand dips into his pants and she presses her palm against the hard length of him, a shameless look in her eyes. “Would that make you jealous?” she teases him. 

 

Murphy pins her hand still with his own, trapping it against his cock. “Damn right I’d be fucking jealous, which is why it’s never going to happen.” The look on her face softens and she tries to lean forward to kiss him, but he uses his free hand to hold her back. He keeps his gaze on hers as he calls out loudly into the room. “You two! Get out!” Raven’s eyes widen, and he’s not sure if it’s because she forgot they weren’t alone, or if she’s shocked that he’s being so blatant about telling them to leave. 

 

“Alright, Jordan, guess that’s our cue to give these lovebirds some alone time.” Diyoza snickered. “I’m impressed, Murphy. You held out longer than I thought you would. Maybe you did do alright for yourself, Raven. You two have some fun, and we’ll see you at dinner.” 

 

Raven clears her throat, and Murphy isn’t sure how she manages it, but even her voice sounds embarrassed, and it’s hard not to laugh at how flustered she is. “Oh my god, Charmaine, shut up and just tell Abby that Murphy and I will go to the plant after dinner!”

 

They both listen as the pair make their way to the door, but before they leave, Jordan turns back. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m not as oblivious as you think I am. Do not, and I really mean this, do  _ not _ have sex in my chair or at my station! It’s bad enough I know my parents did it all over this ship, I don’t need you two adding to it!”

 

“You can have sex on my desk if you want, I don’t care!” Diyoza yells, and her cackles echo through the room even after the door slides shut. 


	7. Chapter 7

“I completely forgot they were in here!” Raven hisses at him, and as funny as he finds the entire situation, Murphy doesn’t think she’s going to appreciate it if he shows his amusement.

 

“It’s not my fault that you’re so easily distracted by me. Maybe you need to work on your focus,” he insolently teases. His hand resting low on her belly slips farther down her body, and the disbelieving frown she starts to give him at his mocking quickly turns into a gasp as his finger strokes her along the outside of her damp underwear. He leans forward and licks a jagged line up her neck, and her palm clenches against him reflexively, making him groan in pleasure. “Actually, I like it when you can’t think while my hands are on you, when your hands are on me. I want to switch off that massive intellect of yours and just make you _feel_. I want to turn you on so much you don’t know anything but me and how I make you come. I want you to feel my hands, my mouth, my cock, until the only words you can remember are ‘more’, ‘yes’, ‘please’ and my name.” When he stops talking, he sucks hard on her earlobe and his finger edges under her panties, giving her the direct contact she’s craving.

 

 _Thank fuck_ , she thinks, and she’s so close to coming already she’s almost angry about it. Fine, fine, so she likes it when he talks dirty to her and he obviously can tell based on how wet she is, the cocky bastard. And she’s willing, okay yes, _more_ than willing, to play the submissive when he wants to take charge, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be _passive_ when they have sex. She stands up abruptly and pushes on his chest, forcing him back further in the large chair, and then straddles his lap, tugging her shirt over her head in the process. His eyes rake over her, taking in the plain black bra she wears, and his hands drift over her waist and hips, pulling her down hard against his erection as he presses his pelvis up into hers.

 

“Jesus, Murphy,” she whines. “The line between wanting to smack you and wanting to fuck you is awfully blurry.”

 

He grins smugly up at her, and she can see he knows exactly what he’s doing to her, so before he can open that sarcastic mouth of his again, she curves her body down farther against him and sucks his bottom lip between hers to shut him up. There’s nothing gentle about the direction the kiss goes in next, and it’s only moments later that Murphy’s hands reach around behind her to unhook her bra, flinging it off her arms so his nimble fingers can tweak her nipples and his hands can set her skin ablaze when they caress her bare breasts. He drags his mouth away from hers and she feels the sting of his stubble along her cheeks, her throat and neck and the sensitive skin of her chest. His lips close over a nipple at the same time his hand slips back inside her panties, and he’s just so amazingly hot and heavy against her that it feels like too much and not enough at the same moment. It hardly takes him any time to work her up until she’s desperate and writhing against him, and she might complain about the unfairness of it all if she couldn’t feel the solid, steely hardness between her legs, knowing he’s just as far gone as she is.

 

“No, don’t want you to come yet,” he mouths into her jaw between kisses. “Got something else in mind,” he tells her as his arms wrap under her thighs, shifting her weight against him so he can stand up. Murphy walks them over to her workspace, setting her down on the counter while she lifts his shirt over his head. In the lighting of the room she can see that the bullet wound in his shoulder isn’t as red and angry as it used to be, now fading to a softer pink. Her fingers smooth carefully along the the injury and down to the matching one along his side, and she recalls that intense panic she felt when he and the others hadn’t yet boarded the ship all those years ago. Of course, it was still recent in her mind, and she knows she came so close to losing him then, but she doesn’t want to think about that now, wants to not think at all, like he promised her, so she reaches down and unbuttons her pants to send Murphy a message. He gets the point, because he stands her up between him and the counter and shoves her pants down as far as they’ll go with her brace still on. He’s crowded up against her and his fingers slowly and methodically inch her panties down her hips as he speaks huskily in her ear.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you at your desk so every time you sit here, you’ll think about how I feel inside you. And you’ll know that I’m sitting over there, thinking about it too, about how wet I can make you and the way you sound when you come.” He’s got her underwear down now and he wraps his hand in the hair at her neck, tilting her head to kiss her with that damn filthy mouth, and she can feel him unbutton his own pants with his free hand, thank god, wanting him to hurry the fuck up because she _needs_ him, now, and if he would just keep talking to her like that she can hardly believe it but she might come before he even gets inside her. Unexpectedly, the hand at her nape spins her around and pushes her forward over the counter, and she barely manages to think _Oh, that’s what he wants_ before he’s leaning over her back and enters her deeply from behind, her hands clutching frantically at the edge of the counter in front of her.

 

The first feel of him like this has her seeing white sparks behind her eyelids and it only gets better as he starts to move, slowly at first while his hands rub along her back, and then faster when they grip her hips and hold her down. She can’t easily push back against him in this position, with her pants only partially down her legs, she can’t widen them any further, but it’s good, letting him have control, and he fills her so entirely that when he shifts her hip just a little in his grasp, he slides deeper and her orgasm takes her by surprise as she whimpers his name and shudders while he kisses her shoulder and tells her how good she feels.

 

When she’s capable of lifting her head up, Murphy wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her hips farther back into him, so now he can reach around and rub her clit while he thrusts, but she’s so sensitive her hips buck backwards, away from his touch and he groans when she takes even more of him as a result.

 

“Fuck, Raven, I want to take my time with you, I want to make you come over and over, but you’re so good, so beautiful like this. Come for me again, I want to feel you, I know you can do it, that’s it.”

 

Her legs are shaking and her body feels like the only thing holding it together is the counter beneath her, but when his fingers stroke her again she knows he can make her do anything he wants. “Yes, oh, there! You feel… oh, please!” He pushes into her hard and fast and it’s so good it’s almost unbearable, her vision blurs and she feels like crying, she’s so overwhelmed. The hand on her hip squeezes fiercely and his fingers press her clit just right and then she comes so hard it borders on painful, and this time there’s nothing quiet about it. Murphy jerks his hips two or three more times before spilling inside her, and it sounds far away but she’s sure he calls her name before his chest rests along her back and they’re both still.

 

He moves away sooner than she does, but there’s no way she’s ready to put her weight on her legs no matter how awkward of a position she’s in, so she listens while he opens a drawer and comes back with one of the clean lab towels and she takes it from him as he leans on the edge of the counter next to her.

 

She sits up gingerly and uses the towel, but between the two of them, they’ve made a mess. Raven clears her throat but her voice still comes out raw when she glances over at Murphy. “Well, I’m never going to be able to look anybody in the eye again when they come in here, but that was definitely worth it.”

 

He laughs and pulls her into his side in a one-armed hug. “Come on. There’s less guys around, so I bet I can sneak you into the men’s shower with me before dinner.”

 

Raven decides that sounds perfect, but she wants one thing clear before they go. “Okay, but if we somehow summon enough energy to do this again while we’re in there, this time I’m gonna be the boss.”

 

“I can definitely be onboard with that.”

  


***********************

  


The cafeteria area of the Eligius is about as busy as it gets these last couple of weeks, and after they collect their trays of food, Murphy and Raven look for an empty table, nodding to Abby and Jackson who are at a table with Madi, Gaia and Niylah, all of them engrossed in conversation. Abby catches Raven’s eye and looks meaningfully at her, and Raven knows Charmaine must have passed along the message about seeing the plant after dinner.

 

Murphy’s starving and ready to sit down and rest after the not-exactly-relaxing shower they’d shared, especially since Raven had taken being in charge a lot more seriously than he expected. Although he was _definitely_ not complaining, he did hope some food was going to help him get through the potentially long night ahead with the plant they still had to see. He knows Raven’s feeling the same, and he’s watched her stifle at least two yawns already.

 

Not long after they sit down, Murphy feels a smack on the back of his shoulder, and when he looks up, Diyoza’s got a smug smile on her face as she innocently pulls a chair out on the other side of Raven and joins them. “Since you’re headed back in front of that plant together later, might as well tell you I’m not that upset about missing out on sex with either of you, much as we all would have enjoyed it. There’s really only one threesome I’m interested in around here, and that’ll have to wait for a little bit anyway.” She pats her belly, then stirs her stew for a moment, and Raven shoots him a look that’s half curious, half amused, but Murphy thinks he might be able to guess who she’s talking about, and god, he wishes he could just be blind and dumb instead.

 

After Diyoza realizes that neither of them are going to touch those comments, she turns to Raven and asks more genuinely about what they anticipate might happen with the plant, and Raven launches into a full explanation about how she wants to know if the plant is an ongoing danger or if the pollen release was a one-time issue, as well as whether there are further effects on either of them or if the process will be the same as it was the last time. He’s impressed that the two of them manage to discuss the topic from a strictly scientific perspective, rather than Raven feeling embarrassed or Diyoza making inappropriate jokes, and it makes him realize that Diyoza really is serious about wanting to know whatever she can about the planet and what they might face once they arrive. Despite her flippant attitude with most of the people on the ship, she remained a consummate strategist - only this time she was flying a little more under the radar with it. He could respect her technique, and it wasn’t that surprising that Raven was warming up to her, really, when Raven has always appreciated expertise and competency regardless of the skillset.

 

He zones out a little while they talk, thinking about whether the plant is going to react to their presence again. He’s not nervous - after listening to what Raven’s had to say about things, he thinks she might be right regarding the plant not being actively interested in harming them, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to prepare for it, just in case. He’d gotten in the habit of carrying a knife in his boot since they’d woken up, not wanting to be unprepared just in case the cryo systems failed and some of the more… unfriendly members of the Eligius group woke up. So if the vines created a problem again, he had a plan to cut them loose, and he’d remind Raven the knife was there too, if she was in a better position to reach for it. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that though. As peculiar as it was to admit, getting hit with that plant pollen was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. Knowing that she’d been determined to bury her feelings, and that he’d never believed she could see him as anything other than her friend… well, that plant had been the key that had initiated things between him and Raven, and he didn’t actually want to kill it if he didn’t have to.

 

“What do you think, Murphy?” Raven grinned over at him, her voice jarring him out of his reflections.

 

“Sorry, what was the question?” He turned his head towards her, a slight grin of apology on his face for his lack of attention.

 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, clearly you weren’t listening enough to have an opinion,” Diyoza concluded. She’s silent for a moment, but she winks gleefully at him when Raven looks down at her tray, and then casually remarks, “So, Raven. Have you ever heard of that old Earth custom about Godparents? Because I was thinking you’d make a great Godmother. It’ll be good practice for when you have your own kid, you know...”

 

The more Diyoza explains about the role and why Raven would be perfect for it, the more delighted Raven looks, and suddenly Murphy understands exactly what Diyoza meant when she told him that once she got one of them, she’d have them both. Absolutely fucking right, damn her. He probably should not have loaned her that dog-eared old novel he’d spotted on the shelf in the captain’s room - she was taking things just a tad too literally. Raven’s eyes dart to his in pleased surprise as he suddenly laughs in admiration at that damn cagey, manipulative female… Despite himself, he was really starting to like her.

  


******************************

 

After dinner, they went back to their quarters and changed to the loose pants and shirts they’d gone into cryosleep with and left their boots behind, not wanting to have to burn any more of their clothes if they could prevent it. Raven slips her hand into his as they walk down the corridor in their socks, and his throat tightens at the gesture. He squeezes her palm and runs his thumb along her skin, but it’s not enough to convey how he feels, so he tugs her towards the wall and traps her between it and his body. Cupping her cheek in his free hand, he leans down and kisses her tenderly, thrilled with the eager way she responds to him. Before he gets too carried away, he lifts his head and admires the fuzzy, disoriented look on her face, an arrogant satisfaction running through him that he can do that to her.

 

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” she murmurs, her fingers scratching lightly at the nape of his neck.

 

“I’ve wondered if I might be dreaming all this and we’re not really awake, maybe I’m stuck in cryo still. But if that’s true, I don’t want to wake up.” He grips her hand more intensely, and tries to make her understand what he’s feeling. “This has all been so fast, but no matter what comes next, you need to know I don’t regret any of it. I don’t know why it happened, maybe we’ll find out or maybe we won’t, but whatever it was, I’m so damned thankful for it. When I think about how close we came to neither of us ever saying anything, it makes me feel sick. Promise me, whatever goes on tonight with this plant or even after, we keep talking, we don’t keep things hidden from each other again.”

 

A sweet, unhurried smile plays over her face as Raven looks up at him. “I know I told you I’m nervous about what the rest of our friends are going to think about us being together, and it’s true that I’m a little anxious about their reaction. But don’t think for a minute that means I don’t want this, want _us_ . I was fooling myself, thinking that I could go back to being only friends with you after that first time. There’s no way I can conceal my feelings for you again now that I let them out, and I don’t want to, anyway. Besides that, everybody awake up here already knows there’s something more between us. We were both so stubborn before… anything the future brings, I promise I won’t try to hide how I feel from _you_. You’re stuck with me now, might as well get used to it.” Her eyes hold a mischievous twinkle and her hand is laced in his, and he wishes no one was expecting them so he could drag her somewhere private and keep her all to himself.

 

Instead he leans down and rests his forehead on hers. “Nobody else I’d rather be stuck with, Reyes.”

 

“Good. Now kiss me again and then let’s go find out what happens next.”

 

********************

 

They meet Abby and Jackson in the hall outside the room the alien plant had been moved to, and it’s a little unexpected to Murphy that they don’t have a bigger audience. Abby must spot him glancing around, and catches his eye. “I told Charmaine she couldn’t come,” she admits, “although I don’t know how long she’ll listen.”

Raven laughs. “Charmaine and ‘listen’ in the same sentence don’t really go together, do they? If she comes, she can stay, right Murphy? And Jordan too, if he wants.”

 

He shrugs and basically grunts his assent, and with that comment, he knows it’s inevitable that Raven will end up acting as some kind of fairy godmother to Diyoza’s kid, and that’s gonna be one, probably even two, more people she’ll throw herself headfirst into trouble for. He shakes his head, deciding that’s a problem for another day, especially when they’ve got to deal with what’s currently in front of them.

 

“Here, I want you to put these around your necks, against your skin.” Abby passes them each a long necklace with a small disc hanging from it. “They’ll monitor your vitals once you’re inside. If we see a prolonged spike from either of you, we’ll turn on the camera feed - otherwise you’ll have privacy, although we are recording in case we need to watch it back later. This room is smaller than your workshop, Raven, but along the back wall is a small decontamination shower if you need it. Same procedure applies - it’ll stay on for a set time. When it opens it’ll let you into the same corridor as before, just in a different spot, where the patient rooms are. If you end up in there, use two different palm readers again, right away, so we can get started on comparison tests.”

 

Jackson holds up a small folding knife. “Do you want to take this in? Miller left it behind, and I thought you might need it if the vines get to be trouble again.”

 

Murphy reaches for it. “Thanks. I’ve got one in my left sock but Raven can keep this one on her.” He drops to one knee and slides it into her own sock, and the cold metal sends a shiver through her system.

 

“We’re not going to need that though, I’m sure of it.” Raven insists, but three pairs of wary eyes meet hers in return. “Okay, yes, don’t worry. I’ll still be careful.”

 

Abby moves forward and gives Murphy an unexpected hug, and then lingers a little longer with Raven. “Indulge me, both of you. I know Raven is optimistic but if anything happens to either of you… Well, don’t make me have to explain anything to Clarke and Bellamy, okay?” Abby gives a hard look to Murphy over Raven’s shoulder with those words, and he nods in response, understanding the message that he’s to do whatever it takes to keep them safe, as if there would be any other option.

 

“I know you’re worried, Abby, but try not to wear a trench in the floor while you pace until we’re out again, okay?” Raven pleads with her and then turns to Murphy, holding out her hand.

 

He wraps his fingers along hers and pulls her towards him, skimming his thumb along her palm in a private gesture of encouragement, and he reaches for the door. He walks through first, Raven tucked behind him, and neither of them look back as she resolutely shuts them both in.

 

****************************

 

It’s not a surprise to Raven that as soon as they turn their bodies slightly to face the sealed enclosure, the alien plant is no longer the flat red and pink that she saw when she visited alone. Of course it’s exactly what she and Murphy both saw, together, during that first day when all of this started. It’s so beautiful it draws her in, but Murphy’s hand in hers holds her slightly back, and he makes sure she’s a step behind him as they move closer. The alien species is once again an amazing iridescent sheen, undulating and rippling in a hypnotic way that makes her want to touch it, even though she remembers clearly what happened the last time she did.

 

Though Murphy is transfixed by the plant too, he’s crowded into her in such a way that half his body is in front of hers, blocking her from standing right in front of the case like he is. She nudges him gently, then more forcefully when he refuses to move, and shifts herself until she’s still nestled alongside him but no longer being obstructed. When she does, the plant flutters and curls its shimmering green and purple leaves, and Raven has the oddest thought that the plant is communicating with her. As soon as she thinks this, her body shudders and then completely stills, Murphy’s hand still encircling hers. She can’t turn her head, but she feels a shiver go through him as well, radiating into her palm, and then he’s motionless beside her.

 

 _“Do not be afraid. We mean no harm.”_ Suddenly there’s a strange voice in her head, rhythmic and haunting. It reverberates in her mind, echoing off itself with weird ripples of sound. _“We speak to He and She simultaneously. What She knows, He knows. We are no threat.”_

 

The vines of the plant spread out towards the side of the containment case, winding up and over until the plant almost fully fills the space inside. Along the vines, multiple flowers burst into bloom, glimmering and gleaming, and Raven’s never seen anything more fascinating than this plant. Licking her lips, she realizes she can still speak.

 

“What are you? How can we understand you?”

 

_"We can communicate with all species, if we choose. We are many flora but act as One.”_

 

“What do you want with us?” Murphy demands.

 

_“Curious, We were. Different, but the same, She and He.”_

 

Raven isn’t sure what that means, but she knows Murphy has less patience than she does, and speaking in riddles is probably making him more tense, not less. “Can you tell us what happened, from your perspective, since you were dug up? If you meant us no harm, why did you attack us, and why react with the two of us rather than the other humans you came into contact with?”

 

_“Dug up, We were. He who dug had no secrets, only thoughts of hunger and sleep. We allowed We to be taken, to learn more about new invaders. We listen to thoughts, to secrets. We protect by learning plans. We heard many thoughts, many ideas about how He’s and She’s will live on what they call The Planet With Two Suns. We came to space to learn more - willing We were for this journey. We learn many thoughts when We were placed on a ship, none of ill intent. Then We heard four thoughts in close quarters. He who is interested in going to The Planet With Two Suns but anxious. He has no secrets, very easy to listen. She who is cunning, manipulative and with many secrets, but no plan to do harm to The Planet With Two Suns. Could be dangerous, We feel, but is tempered by the child within who brings calm. Then We, We hear something curious with the remaining She and He. Different, but the same.”_

 

There is silence in the room as the voice quiets in her head, the plant itself almost serpentine in the way it moves. Raven understands that the plant has some sort of collective consciousness and cannot wait to talk to Abby and Jordan about the ramifications of this advanced lifeform on the new planet. If she was interpreting things correctly, plants like this could somehow read the thoughts and even intent of creatures that came near it, and had allowed Miller to dig it up and be brought into space in order to ascertain more about the possible threat they posed. Certainly the plant was speaking about Jordan and Diyoza as part of the four thoughts, but she wasn’t comprehending what it might mean about her and Murphy being ‘different, but the same’.

 

_“Many thoughts and plans within She and He. And secrets, many secrets We learn. We discover same secrets. He wants She, She wants He, same secret. We are not learning this before, organism with same secret-secret. Curious, are We. Unique, We choose. We choose to show true appearance. We choose He and She, no attack, no harm. Only gift.”_

 

Raven hears Murphy make an indignant noise in his throat, and quickly speaks before he can. “So you’re telling us that you wanted to help us, not harm us, with the spray we were hit with? Is that your pollen? That you showed us how beautiful you really are because you saw that the hidden things in our minds… matched each other. What was the gift that you meant to give us?”

 

_“She is correct. Attainment, fulfillment of desire We gift. We may choose to gift those that have secrets worth achieving. He, She, We may gift who We choose so long as it does We no harm. Pollen, We use to create focus on goal. We have used before, made He’s into kings, She’s into queens, for benefit of We. Long ago, one She made fruitful when before barren, for benefit of We. Never same desire, He and She, until He and She here.”_

 

“It’s not only a… sexual desire you’re speaking of, then? You can use your pollen on anyone you believe has a worthy goal, and the pollen helps them accomplish it?” Raven knew it, she knew the pheromones might be more than just a sexual stimulation. Abby was going to be excited to research this.

 

_“Pollen focuses goal, creates need to fulfill. Work done by He and She only, not We. We provide focus, fixation, priority, concentration until goal fulfilled.”_

 

“Your pollen only sharpens what’s already in someone’s mind, you don’t add any other thoughts or suggestions to it?” Murphy challenges. “And once hit with the pollen, the person becomes so devoted to their goal that they can’t help but achieve it, no matter what it takes?”

 

_"He is correct. Only benign effort is encouraged by We, harmless to all. We only focus what already exists, We add nothing. We gift only worthy desire.”_

 

“You said that before us, you have gifted other He’s and She’s. Are there other people, other human-like species on this planet now, or were there before?” Raven asks anxiously, biting her lip.

 

_“She is correct. Similar to She, others are. Similar to He, others are. Now.”_

 

Raven feels her stomach drop, and Murphy manages to somehow squeeze her hand, despite the tranquillized sensation in their bodies, and it’s a relief to her when she feels his comfort at this astonishing news.

 

His voice is rough when he speaks again. “Are these others dangerous? Can you tell us anything about them?”

 

_“We have very small knowledge. Others clear out all flora including We, live inside large wall called city and do not often venture out unless in need of food. He who digs We out of ground very far away from others.”_

 

Raven sighs, knowing their lives aren’t going to be as easy as they’d hoped with the information that there are other people on the planet somewhere. “If you plan to do no harm to our people, what would you like us to do now? Do you want to return to the planet, be put back into the soil where you were dug up? Is it just plants that look like you that we should avoid, or will other plants be upset if we dig them up? ”

 

_“We agree to this plan. We mean no harm unless provoked with ill intent by He’s and She’s. We protect Planet With Two Suns. We wish to return. Only We are protectors. Only We can communicate.”_

 

“Will we be able to communicate with you anymore, after this?” Raven wonders. “Is there… is there anything you want to know about us, or that we can do for you?”

 

_“We will no longer communicate unless necessary. If We deem it so, We will speak with She and He only. We agree to entrust We to your care. Curious, We are still. Are He and She pleased with We? Did We satisfy your secret same desire? ”_

 

If anyone had told Raven she’d ever find herself blushing because of something a plant managed to psychically tell her in her mind, she’d have never believed it, but nonetheless her face felt heated, and it only got worse when she could practically hear the smirk in Murphy’s tone as he replied to the plant’s question.

 

“Yeah, you could definitely say He and She are pleased.” Murphy pauses and then sounds more serious as he continues. “We appreciate your efforts on our behalf and I’ll make sure you get back to the planet as soon as possible. If there’s anything else we can do for you, let us know and we’ll do whatever we can.”

 

They watch in awe as the brightly iridescent flowers slowly close up and the vines of the plant shrink back down and the plant becomes smaller, losing its glow and the gentle movements with a final wave of the last shimmering leaf until it is once again the lackluster pink and red that all the others believed it to be. As the plant reverted to this drab state, Raven started to feel her limbs tingle as mobility flowed back through her veins, and she used one hand to massage the painful sensation out of her fingers.

 

Murphy turns towards her and encircles her in his arms. She rests her head along his neck and wraps her arms around his waist. “That was kind of surreal, huh?” she jokes.

 

He glides his hand along her hair and lets out a deep sigh. “At this point, seems like just another day in space to me. Gonna believe just about anything is possible now that I’ve met a talking plant.” She smiles as she feels him drop a kiss onto her head and snuggles in a little closer.

 

“How do you feel right now? My body feels exhausted, like we’ve been running for hours or something. And my head feels a bit foggy too, does yours?” She can’t help but give in to a huge yawn as she relaxes under Murphy’s gentle rubbing along her back.

 

“Tired? Yes, definitely, and a little headache too. I don’t know how long we were standing immobile like that. Let’s try and make it a quick conversation with Abby and Jackson so we can get some sleep for a little while, okay? They can ask us more questions later. It was already night when we came in here, hopefully they’ll get that we need a rest.”

 

“I like your plan. I also liked it when you squeezed my hand when we found out there’s more humans on this planet. How’d you manage that when I felt stuck to the floor?” Raven peers up at him curiously.

 

“I knew that announcement upset you. I wanted to do something to make you feel better. I didn’t really think about it so much as I just did it.”

 

“Well, it worked. It did make me feel better, thanks. We make a good team.” She reaches up and draws his head closer to hers to kiss him, long and deliberate, cupping her hands on either side of his face. When she’s finished she moves back, a little out of breath, and the heated look he gives her makes her wish no one was waiting outside for them. She sighs, disappointed. “Unfortunately, our fans await. Let’s go before I fall asleep on my feet.”

 

He squeezes her tightly one last time before taking her hand in his, and she yanks the door open and squints into the brighter lights of the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice long chapter plus an early update, ohh, lucky! Plus we're getting close to the end!


	8. Chapter 8

 

Raven had been right - both Diyoza and Jordan had found their way into the hallway to stand vigil with Abby and Jackson, everyone looking concerned. As soon as they stepped within reach, Abby had pulled them both into a vigorous hug, her gaze running over them in search of injury and clearly relieved to see they were in one piece. When she stepped back, she must have caught the fatigued expressions on their faces, because she announced they should all go back to her office to sit down and discuss things. 

 

Once there, Raven slumps into a seat across from Abby’s spot, and Murphy pulls a chair closer beside her, resting his hand on her leg. They sit around a small table, and Jackson collects the monitoring necklaces from them to input the data into their files. 

 

“Did you know it’s been almost four hours since you were in there?” Abby announced. “The feedback from the bio-monitors never spiked, so we let you be, but it was a long wait. Medically, it seemed like you were in a prolonged trance of some sort. How are you feeling?”

 

Murphy rubs his forehead and a wince crosses his features. “No idea we were in there for so long, but it explains the headache. Raven, it felt like about an hour to me, what do you think?”

 

“I’m surprised by that, too. It didn’t feel like it took that long while we were in there, but afterwards we both felt stiff and exhausted, and I’ve got a headache just like Murphy. Plus my leg is sore from standing in one place for so long.”

 

Jackson comes back to the table, bringing a few pills and containers of water, and they both take them gratefully. After Murphy finishes drinking, he turns to Abby. “We were definitely in some kind of trance, caused by the plant. I’ll let Raven explain it since she’s more knowledgeable about what all this means, but two things need to be said right away. First, Jackson, can you go get Bellamy on the radio and tell him that we’ll explain more in the morning, but they should know there are other people on the planet with them and that they need someone on guard all the time for as long as they’re down there. Tell him Raven and Murphy are the ones giving him this message, okay? Wake him up if you have to.” Everyone tenses at this information, and Jackson nods and leaves the room quickly, but Murphy puts a hand up to prevent any further questions. “We’ll explain everything, I promise, but it’s not all coming out tonight. It’s late and we’re both exhausted and sore. So we’ll cover the basics now but if you can hold off on non-emergency questions, that would be great.”

 

Diyoza leans forward impatiently. “How do you know there are other people on the planet? Are they dangerous?”

 

“All we know about these other people are that they’re pretty far away from where the Gagarin landed, living in some kind of walled city. But keep in mind distance is relative to the source, and our source happens to be a sentient plant.” Murphy drops the news in such a casual manner that it takes a moment for everyone to react, but when they do, voices come from all directions. 

 

Raven speaks over them, her chin resting in her other hand that’s propped on the table. “Just listen. The alien plant Miller dug up is part of a collective consciousness, definitely a sentient being. The best way to explain it is to consider the way old trees and other plants on Earth would communicate with each other using their underground root systems and the symbiotic relationship with fungi. It was called  mycorrhizae, and it wasn’t like how we talk to each other, obviously, but it was still communication that resulted in sharing resources like water or even giving warnings about threats that might be attacking one tree in an area. It’s really fascinating, and obviously I don’t know all the details about this alien process, but I think we can generalize that it’s something similar here.”

 

She looks around the table to make sure everyone’s understanding what she’s saying, and smiles at how excited Jordan looks. Abby and Diyoza, however, look more cautious. “So when we got in the room, the plant appeared to us in its true state, the iridescent, amazing flowering vine that Murphy and I saw the first time. We both felt some kind of shudder go through us and then neither of us could move. It didn’t hurt but that explains the trancelike readings you got, Abby. The plant started to talk to us both, but in our minds. We could understand it and it called itself We, and said that it could communicate with many life forms if it chose to. Murphy and I both asked some questions and it answered them. Bottom line, it doesn’t mean any harm, we promised to stop digging this species up and we’ll take this individual plant back to the planet and put it back in the ground. It’s not exactly sex pollen that it dosed us with, and the plant basically functions to protect the planet by reading the intent of other creatures it comes into contact with, like us.”

 

“Raven, John… this is fascinating. I know the mycorrhizae network you’re talking about on Earth, Raven. It’s not my area of study, certainly, but I’m sure there’s data in the Eligius files we can research to help us learn more about what might be happening with this alien, well life-form, I guess. Sentient plants… I did not expect this.”

 

“Have one talking in your head and you’ll be convinced,” Murphy wryly adds. “Alright, how about we call it a night. We’ll come back sometime after breakfast and we can discuss it further, but I’ll be talking to Bellamy or Clarke down on the planet first. If anyone needs us before then, we’re taking one of the single rooms closest to where Madi sleeps. But I’m not kidding - we really need some sleep, so please don’t wake us up unless there’s an emergency.” He gives Abby a hard stare and she grins. 

 

“No need to look at me when you say that - the rest can wait for tomorrow. But I want you to give another blood sample before you leave medical. I don’t have any reason for concern, but I’d like it for comparison purposes with the last time.”

 

Frowning, Raven gets up and pushes her chair back under the table, going over to the closest palm reader for the finger prick. “You know, Abby, part of the reason I’m so tired is because you keep taking so much of my blood.”

 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure that’s not the only reason you’re tired,” Diyoza deftly interjects. 

 

Raven stops to glare at her with such a savage look on her face that Murphy literally bites his tongue to keep from laughing. There’s no way he’s getting in the middle of this one, he decides. 

 

Abby quickly steps over between the two and attempts to mediate. “Okay, cut it out. Everybody’s tired and a bit on edge. I think we should all just go to bed.” As soon as she says it, she knows it’s going to be misconstrued, but she’s not quick enough to take it back. 

 

Diyoza curls her lip up flirtatiously and wraps her hand around Abby’s wrist. “Abby, I thought you’d never ask.”

 

“Damn it, Charmaine. You are the worst! I swear if you weren’t pregnant, I’d reconsider letting a tragic accident happen to you in the lab.” Raven reaches out and shoves her shoulder in exasperation, but Murphy can see there’s no real weight behind it.  

 

Abby extracts her wrist from Diyoza’s grasp, shaking her head gently, like she’s done this too many times before. “You know that’s not an invitation, Charmaine.”

 

Shrugging, Diyoza turns to walk out of the room, slinging her arm around Abby’s shoulders in the process. “You say that  _ now _ … Anyway, you both walked right into those, you can’t deny it. Besides, you’re getting off easy compared to how tough I am on Octavia. You should take that as a compliment, by the way.”

 

Murphy watches the three of them leave, all of them talking animatedly, and wonders how the hell his life got so full of complicated females. 

 

***************************

 

He’s putting clean sheets onto the bare mattress when Raven stumbles wearily into the room. They’d each gone to their bunks for a few personal items and he’d gotten back first. The single is about three doors down from the space Madi was in, but it was farther away from the majority of the other rooms, and the bed can accommodate two, making it the best choice as far as he was concerned.  

 

“So you thought it would be a great idea to just announce to everyone that we’re sharing a room now?” Raven casually asks as she sits on the edge of the only chair, pulling off her shoes and brace and massaging the top of her thigh where it felt sore. 

 

“Yep,” he replies, “figured that would make it a lot harder for you to come up with a bunch of excuses. Hand me that blanket next to you.”

 

She tosses it to him, a thoughtful expression on her face as she considers his answer. “Hmm. Honestly, that was probably a good call on your part. It’s pretty likely I would’ve argued it was ridiculously early.”

 

“I know, and then I would’ve had to talk you into it. Which would take too long, convincing you to do something you already want, anyway. I was feeling confident it was the right plan, plus you were tired when I said it, which means you’re less likely to disagree.”

 

“Oh, you’ve got me all figured out then?” Raven sasses him. 

 

He finishes tucking a couple of blankets over the sheet and drops the second pillow next to the first, then turns to cross the small space until he’s directly in front of her and she has to look up at him. “Not counting the time we were asleep, we’ve known each other seven plus years now. Six of which we spent stuck in a cramped and broken down space station where we saw each other almost every day. It wasn’t personal, but I shot you, you tried to have me killed in retaliation - which was a little bit personal, you gotta admit. We almost died more times than I can count, and most of the people around us did die, but together we’ve survived bullet wounds, years of disgusting algae, torture, more torture, a fiery death wave, a bunch of murderers caught us, electric shocks, more murderers, another death wave that killed the planet, cryosleep and what honestly feels like time travel. Then we somehow get involved with a sentient alien plant that makes us have sex and speaks to us psychically. We did manage to avoid the cannibalism though, so that’s something.” He grins and pulls her to her feet so he can wrap his arms around her waist to steady her. “But my point being, yes, I do know you. And you know me. Because even after all that stuff we went through, the only thing we’ve ever lied to each other about was how I felt about you, and how you felt about me. And we’re way past that now.”

 

Raven’s eyes sparkled and a small smile tugs at her lips. “When you put it like that, it almost sounds romantic.” He laughs, like she knew he would. “And you’re right, you do know me. Probably better than anybody else, actually. But we’ve really gotta put some boundaries around what counts as a date. I vote we take Shared Torture off the list.”

 

He considers her terms. “I’ll agree to it, but only as long as we definitely keep Manipulated Into Having Sex in the top three.”

 

“Deal. Now take off your clothes and let’s go to bed. But for literal sleep for once!”

 

****************************

 

She wakes up with an idea at the front of her mind that she wants to talk to Jordan about, wondering if they can use any of the mycorrhizae in the ground of the new planet as a potential production booster for the crops they’ve already determined would be safe for them to grow and eat. Murphy’s smushed up behind her, with his arm around her waist, and she’s idly running her fingers along his skin as she considers how practical it would be to collect fungi spores versus root samples. Not knowing if it’s too early to go to her lab, she rolls over and faces him. It’s still dark in the room, but that doesn’t tell her much about the time. 

 

“Murphy. Are you awake?” she whispers. 

 

“No.”

 

She burrows down into the covers, pushing closer to him and rubbing her foot along his leg. “Aww, c’mon. Flip over and see what time it is for me, I can’t reach from here. I had a good idea I want to work on.”

 

“Really?” he mumbles, not opening his eyes. “The newness stage of our relationship has worn off already and you want to go to work? There’s no way it’s past five AM yet, I think we can wait a few hours.”

 

“Oh, this is a glimpse, isn’t it?” Raven sighs heavily but lifts his arm back around her hips. “Of what we’re going to be like? I’ll be trying to focus on a project and you’re going to drive me crazy or nag me to death so I’ll get up and go have fun with you or blow it off instead?” 

 

“Isn’t that what we’ve already been doing for the last six years?” He opens his eyes and grins at her. “Only now we get to add naked fun to the list. I guess it’s not that horrible of a life...although for me it’ll be much worse, you know.” 

 

“Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?” she inquires, already gearing herself up for a preposterous comment. 

 

“Yeah, I mean, you’ll get to have science and projects regularly interrupted with sex, which is great and makes you pretty damn lucky, but I’ll have to put up with sex regularly getting interrupted with science and projects, which is not as great and definitely not as lucky.” Now he’s just mocking her, the jackass. 

 

She groans. “Ugh, you’re running perilously close to Charmaine for the top spot on my list of people I might accidently blow up.”

 

“You could never. You’re way too attached to me. Now go back to sleep, because I can guarantee you it’s going to be a long day. Jordan is chomping at the bit to talk botany, Abby is dying to know what kind of pheromones they really were, Diyoza probably thought up at least eight more ways to taunt us, and Bellamy… oh, he’s going to insist on coming back up here in order to get the full story out of us, and there’s no way to know if he’ll come alone or bring the whole entourage.”

 

Her eyes widen as she considers how her day is likely to go, based on Murphy’s speculation. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to go back to sleep, not with all that on my mind in addition to the crop idea I have.”

 

“See, now this is where your luck comes in, since I’m happy to tire you out.” His finger runs down her thigh then slowly back up, and she raises both eyebrows at him in disbelief. 

 

“You set me up for that, didn’t you?” she grumbles. 

 

“I might’ve. But nothing I said was wrong, either.”

 

“Mmm.. well, as long as you understand that I’m doing it more for you than I am for myself, I suppose I could let you tire me out.” 

 

He smirks and leans over to kiss her. “I’ll take you any way I can get you, but first I gotta ask you something. We were too tired last night to discuss this, but you heard what that plant said. It ‘only focused what already exists’ and said they ‘add nothing’. Which means that like we figured out, all those fantasies we were having were because they were already in our own heads. But that also means the possessive feelings I’ve been experiencing are definitely mine, along with the archaic, male-ego fueled desire to get you pregnant… And, I mean, I don’t completely want that at this stage, but I don’t exactly not want it, either. I feel very conflicting things about this, but we’ve been the opposite of careful, so I need to know what you’re thinking.”

 

She turns on her side so he doesn’t have to lean over her, and they face each other in the darkness. “When Abby first told us about the implants potentially failing, I was shocked, but that was because I hadn’t thought of it as a possibility for so long. It’s no secret I wasn’t having sex with anyone on the Ring, there hasn’t been any reason for me to think about pregnancy. But then  _ this _ happened, and I was mostly just surprised that I didn’t feel that worried about it. The worst thing I was thinking was that the timing wouldn’t be that great, not ‘oh, I don’t want to have a baby’ and then I thought that it was weird that I wasn’t more concerned… I think it was because it was  _ us  _ though. I was still trying to deny how I felt about you at that point, but even so, we were friends, we trusted each other. I never thought I’d be in it by myself or anything, and you’d be a good dad, and then it was reassuring that Monty and Harper had managed somehow. It’s not something I thought about a lot, but I guess I always figured if I lived long enough, I’d probably have kids …. There’s so many factors to consider and I think that it would be better if it didn’t happen right away, but I couldn’t be upset about it if it did.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and considers what else Abby had told her. “We do need to start the nightblood serum soon though. If the implant has already failed, or if it fails soon and I get pregnant, I could be stuck up here until a baby was old enough to receive the injections on its own. I’d rather have more options, not less.”

 

“Alright, so we’re agreeing that later would be better, but if it happens before that, neither of us feel panicked about it. You know, this is a really long way from where we started out, you and me. The even-more-of-an- asshole I was then would never have believed I’d end up here with you, talking about how we feel about having a kid.”

 

Raven sighs and leans into him. “It is a long way, but the more I think about it, the more it feels inevitable that this is where we’d end up.”

 

“There always was something about you.” Murphy pulls her closer and brushes his lips against hers. “I think you might be right.” 

  
  


*********************************

 

Six Years Later

  
  


“You’re going to make me late,” Raven argues, as Murphy’s mouth trails along her neck. 

 

“They can all wait. This is much more fun and you know it.” He nudges closer, her back against the wall, and hides a grin because for all her protests, she’s not pushing him away. “Besides, soon we won’t be able to do this so we’d better take advantage while we can.”

 

She tilts her head back farther to give him more access, her hand lifting to the nape of his neck. “Mmm, and whose fault is that?”

 

“I might’ve had something to do with it,” he admits, “but only because you look so hot pregnant.” His palm slides down to smooth over her obvious belly, and she knows he’s not trying to flatter her. He’s been thoroughly turned on by the changes in her body with each pregnancy, and she can’t deny she likes having that effect on him. 

 

“What were we thinking?” she moans, as his lips capture her ear. “We’re going to be outnumbered.”

 

He slips his hand up her shirt. “Well, I know what  _ I _ was thinking at the time. In fact, I recall specifically telling you that I was going to fuck you so good there’d be no way you wouldn’t get pregnant. And I also seem to remember you begging me to hurry up and do it.”

 

A heated flush washes over her and she feels her cheeks redden. “Okay, yes, clearly I was a willing participant. You know I’m a sucker when you talk dirty. But now this baby is almost here and our happy, organized life is going to be thrown into chaos again.”

 

Murphy kisses her, nice and thorough, and when he pulls back for air he can tell by the cloudy look in her eyes that he’s managed to calm her down and completely distract her. “We’ll figure it out, just like we do everything else. The other two are outside, and they know not to leave the fence. And in case they come back in, lucky for us we’ve got this awesome lock for our door, made by someone really considerate and thoughtful - yes, I mean me. So you’ve got no excuses left and might as well take off your clothes and let me have my way with you and that incredibly sexy body.”

 

Raven gives him an affectionate smile. “I love you, and you are considerate and thoughtful, and I’m absolutely going to let you worship my body right now and make me late, but there’s no way I’m letting you convince me we should have any more children after this one.”

 

“We’ll see,” he smirks at her, and pulls her towards their bed. 

 

******************************

 

Five year old Claire Murphy sits in the shade of the large yellow-and-green leaved tree at the back of her family’s small house. Her four year old brother Alex is holding tightly to one end of a long string, watching his fragile kite sail against the purple-streaked sky, the two suns casting a warm glow down on everything her eyes can see. She’d helped him get it into the air and then gone back to drawing in the reddish dirt with her favorite pointy stick, sketching out plans for the treehouse she wanted to build in the tree above her. 

 

When she hears Alex call out for her, she looks up and can tell he no longer has the string in his hand, and his kite is blowing over towards the edge of the woods not far from their house, in the opposite direction from the scattered houses of their friends who live in the valley with them. 

 

“I didn’t mean to let go!” Alex cries. “Uncle Jordan made that for me and now it’s lost!”

 

“It’s not lost, Alex. I can see it right over there, look.“ Claire points over to the woods. “I’ll go get it.”

 

“No! Dad said to stay in the fence. You’ll get in trouble.” Alex pouts. 

 

“Don’t tattle on me and he won’t find out! And you’ll get your kite back, isn’t that what you want?” Before Alex can say no, she climbs up on the low tree branch that makes up the first rung of their fence. She’s up and over the higher top branch quickly, and runs towards the kite. 

 

The long string is tangled in some of the nearby vegetation, and she works to pull it loose. Claire throws a few hurried glances over her shoulder in hopes neither of her parents choose these moments to come outside, but so far only Alex is nervously watching her from the yard. She gets more of the string gathered up and walks a few steps further into the cool forest to collect the rest. 

 

Her eyes land on a pretty purple and green leaf, and it’s so shiny she can’t look away. As she gets closer to it, the plant is even more enchanting - all sparkly and shimmering, almost like it’s moving. She’s never seen anything so beautiful before, except maybe her Mom, and as a small flower bud opens along a twining vine, Claire has the strongest urge to touch it. Mom told her never to touch anything she wasn’t sure about, but nothing this amazing could be bad for her, she’s sure of that. The plant  _ wants _ her to touch it, she can feel it somehow, almost like it’s talking to her. 

 

She licks her lips and imagines how much trouble she’s going to be in if she disobeys the rules. But then she straightens her shoulders and remembers what she heard Aunt Charmaine tell her Dad last week when everyone had gotten together for dinner. 

 

“Murphy,” Aunt Charmaine had laughed, “we both know rules are meant to be broken.”

 

Claire reaches out and touches the fascinating flower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! The End! I hope everybody enjoyed it! I totally went the sentimental route there at the conclusion, but I figure they deserve a happy ending for once, at least in some alternate universe. 
> 
> This story was a test for me - my first WIP, my first fully detailed, multiple smut scenes (eek), and I wanted to know if I could put out regular content at about 5k a chapter. I had a little hiccup on one update (ah, lifeus interruptus), but overall I feel like I accomplished what I wanted. 
> 
> Huge thanks to everyone who read along as I updated and commented on various chapters - I got a lot of motivation out of that and sincerely appreciate it! And if you're reading this and you're super late to the story but feel like commenting anyway, please do! I love answering comments!
> 
> I also need to give a shout out to all the awesome Murven fanvids out there. If I need to remind myself of a scene or just look for some inspiration when I'm feeling stuck, that'll fix it right up! Check 'em out!
> 
> In case you didn't know, the mycorrhizae are a real thing! I'm super fascinated by it and love the idea that something like it could be more advanced on another planet, farther in the future. Check this out from National Geographic to learn more - https://youtu.be/1YIzCk1-eJk
> 
> I'll miss this storyline because it was fun to imagine, but I have lots more ideas still, so keep your eyes out for something new. In my head, Diyoza is a riot and is totally hot for a threesome with Abby & Kane, just in case I didn't make that obvious enough. And Jordan is a sweetheart who quickly finds himself perfecting the art of the eye-roll when it comes to the clueless couples in complete denial on the Eligius IV.


End file.
